Aries man neglecting me
I've been dating an Aries man for four months. After one month, he told me he loved me and I said it too. We were immediately attracted to each other and the sex is amazing. We are still together but I'm so confused about his behavior.
Almost everything he does shows that he loves me and sees a future with me (BTW, I'm 33 and he's almost 31) -- meaning he includes me in EVERYTHING, brings me to his hometown and includes me in his family and friends. I'm even going on a family cruise in a few months with them. He bought my ticket already!
For my birthday, he surprised me with a piece of birthday cake while I was in bed, sang to me and threw streamers around the room and bought me a very expensive parka and a book he thought I'd like. And gave me the sweetest birthday card I've ever been given. It said "You have my heart, and always will" and then he wrote that he hoped this was the first of many birthdays we would share together.
I'm going home with him for the holidays. He took me with him for harvest at his parents' farm and drove me around in the combine and taught me all about farming. We sleep together every night, and curl up together. He tells me he loves me every day.
Now fast forward to the confusing part ... he ignores me! I know, it doesn't sound like
it but hear me out. He's a very sociable and animated person around everyone else but me and his family.
When we first met he was very outgoing with me and
we talked about everything. Now we hardly talk at all. When I try to talk to him about things, he barely responds. We don't laugh together any more. He insists on me being with him, he talks to everyone but me. I've started to feel really awkward with him.
I've started lashing out and then he's hurt and
surprised by my attitude. I do so much for him and he barely acknowledges it. He never compliments me or is affectionate with me in public. I sent him an email telling him how I felt (because telling him hasn't worked) and he
responded with a very touching and sensitive email, saying how much he loves me and that I should never doubt his feelings for me, and that he'll try to be more attentive.
He will be for a little bit and then he's back to neglecting me. For example, I will walk through the front door and he won't even lift his head or say anything to me. Or, he'll bring me to an event in his hometown like a wedding and disappear for a long time and act like he doesn't even know me. Then he'll say I'm antisocial. I told him last night that I'm tired of going
out of my way being friendly with strangers when he doesn't introduce me or make me feel like he even wants me there (I'm a pretty shy person, so it's not easy for me to put myself out there).
He explained last night that the more he loves someone, he becomes more reserved and shy with them--that he can't help it. I don't know what to do, it's hurting me so much. I know he loves me but it just doesn't feel like it when he ignores me, no matter what he says about how he feels towards me.
What can I do? I've shut down a lot--what's the point in trying to draw him out? I end up feeling foolish? How can I reach him? He told me last night not to worry, he loves me very much. But why has he put me into a new category? I feel left out and I miss his personality that he showed me when we first met.
Any advice is appreciated.