Help me understand Taurus Ex

Hello Taurus women! Please help me to understand you. My Taurus ex girlfriend left me for an Aquarius man. This is complicated (I am a cancer after all) so please bear with me.

I'm a 33 year old Cancer male who is madly in love with a 28 year old Taurus women. We met a little over a year ago when I was visiting friends in Indiana. (I live in Cleveland) we hooked up and I didn't think anything would come of it, but she pursued me until I fell hard for her. Things were great for about 6 months but then I made the mistake, even though I was being 100% honest with her, of telling her to much info about myself.

Let me tell you about myself. I became a Christian at age 27 and have had issues with lust since I was young. I never cheated on my girlfriend and I never would, but I did decide I needed to take a break from sex due to my obsession with it, and my faith. This was very hard for her to understand and I completely get why she was upset and confused. It was something I decided about 6 months into our relationship. We had been having sex every time we got together, but I knew I needed to stop so I could work on my lust issues and try to be true to my faith. I was thinking about the negative affects lust had on me, and I wanted to work on it. That is the truth and I told her this. She was supportive of my decision for about 4 months, but I was not able to resist having sex with her when we would get together so she ended up feeling like she had to be the strong one, which was too much for her. It sucks because my intentions were good but the result was horrible.
I was weak (stupid cancer traits lol!) and not able to do what I intended to do which made her question me as a man. I have some self-esteem issues, which is the cause of my wanting to escape into my lust fantasies, and from what I understand about Taurus women is they can't be with a man who does not prove his ability to be a strong man, and I had screwed that all up. I also dragged my feet on finding a job and moving when I said I was going to, and that made things worse.

So after one of the most amazing years of my life, the women I was certain I was going to marry decided to turn her heart away from me. And boy did she ever. She cut me off cold but did not break up with me. This made me a little crazy because a few days before, she was sweet and loving, and then the next thing I knew she just turned into this cold, emotionless, person who I had never met before. It really freaked me out. She would not communicate with me or tell me she loved me. I ended up breaking up with her because she was so cold and completely different from the women I fell in love with. I have never experienced someone who was so kind and loving one day, and then the most cold person I have ever met the next. I was completely crushed. I was not able to hold my composure. I was having panic attacks and she still didn't seem to care.

She eventually told me her heart had turned away from me without her realizing it until the end. She said it was mostly because of the lust issue and because I was “jealous” about her hanging out with her friends. She admitted that I was never jealous until the end, and that it really turned her off. I replied that I was never concerned about any of her friends when I knew she was in love with me, but when she cut me off I noticed she invited her tattoo artist out with her to drink with her and a friend, and they had never hung out to my knowledge before she cut me off so I asked her about him. This is when we were still “dating”. She immediately became offended that I would ask her about her intentions with one of her friends. So I dropped it. But the best part is, my intuition was right. They are now together.

A week after I broke up with her, due to her being so cold, she invited me to visit her. The day I left, we cried in each others arms for about 20 minutes and she did tell me she loved me but just wasn't able to make up her mind about dealing with my issues. I assured her that I would work day and night on my issues if she would give me a second chance, but she just kept crying and didn't talk to me. On my way home she text me saying “I'm not going anywhere...”. Since this last visit we have talked a few times via text but nothing about us. I found out from a mutual friend that she is indeed hooking up with her tattoo artist. The one she got pissed about when I questioned her intentions with him. He is a Aquarius man who is the polar opposite of my ex. She is scared to try anything dangerous or new, and he is all about dangerous and new. I know opposites attract but I cannot see this working out in the end.

So, what do you Taurus women think? I know it's complicated but I am working hard every day on my issues and am making great progress. And I'm no just saying that. I am seeing a psychologist and I'm really working hard on my issues. I'm not perfect but I am loyal and honest, and I am a good guy who would do anything for his friends and lover. I have always treated my ex with love and care and I know she was very happy throughout most of our relationship.

Do I still have a chance with her or should I move on? It's so hard to move on from the “love of your life” but I don't want to hold out hope if there is none. We really were very happy together and I think I can make her really happy if I can get my issues taken care of.

I will take any advice you have. Thanks in advance!

Comments for
Help me understand Taurus Ex

Click here to add your own comments

To the Cancer OP
by: Anonymous

The connection between Cancers and Tauruses is cosmic. If she pursued you in the beginning, she fell for you...HARD! Taurus women are overly-cautious, shy, reserved, and we love to be pursued instead. She felt an emotional and physical connection with you. She may have envisioned a future with you. But I can tell you, she's devastated. We're emotionally strong people.
You will never know what a Taurus woman is thinking or feeling. Emotional meltdowns make us uncomfortable. She was probably kicking herself for allowing herself to cry in front of you.

Although she fell in love with you instantly. It may take her a while to verbalize it. She has to assess and make sense of what she's feeling. The long distance relationship, your need for sex constantly, I'm sure is what kicked her insecurities in overdrive. Cancer, imagine if you were in a long distance relationship with a woman you were in love with...and she was practically a sex-addict. Would you feel secure in that relationship?

A Taurus woman will never convey her insecurtities, instead, she will get you sidetracked with some other 'lame' reason instead.
When a Taurus woman loves you (which I'm sure she does), she loves with her heart, and unconditioally. Yes, flaws and all. But the threat of any possible infidelity...a definte NO NO!

To the Cancer OP (cont'd)
by: Anonymous

Not finding a job, meant not being close to you.
Taurus women, we're possessive by nature. Not to mention, we're quite affectionate people. She may not be compatible with the Aqua tattoo artist, but he sounds like a great rebound. An individual who is completely different from her that she doesn't see longevity with. If he was grounded, then you would have a lot more to worry about. LOL. My advice, get yourself together, move to Indiana, find a job....and fight for her!

It's not your honesty that turned her off...it was simply her insecurities that navigated her choices. Keep in mind, with a Taurus, when it comes to the matters of the heart, you will never know what we're thinking.

Good Luck,
A Taurus Female

Cancer OP Cont'd
by: Anonymous

I forgot to ask you....

Have you been in contact with her since the break-up?

If YES: Then you still have a chance....

If the answer is NO: Then her mind is made up about you. Cancers may hold on to any memory, or past telationships...but a Taurus woman rarely looks back when a relationship is over....

ALSO:

If you're seeking help for those sexual urges, why did you have trouble controlling those urges when you were around her? Was it primal lust? Or a combination of love and lust?

Patience and loyalty
by: Carribean Limes

There are a few misconceptions about Taurus women in the zodiac. We're nurturing and loyal, but only to a cetain extent. Sure, we will boost a man's ego, give him reassurance, make him feel as if he's on top of the world and make him feel as if he can walk on water. Why? Because despite our repeated attempts to dominate or take control of the situation, we would prefer our men be strong enough to take the lead. When he fails in this role, we will still love him, support him, be by his side, but the respect will not be there.

I am sure this why she grew cold and distant towards you. But if you also noticed. She remained by your side, and didn't break up with you. You broke up with her instead. So this makes me question your loyalty to your Taurus woman. You wanted her to be patient with you, understand you, and stand by your side despite your shortcomings, but immediately broke up with her when she became cold towards you. Patience and loyalty is a two way street, Cancer.

I would have to agree with the above poster. Tauruses are emotionally strong people. She may have felt overwhelmed, and needed some time alone to think, vent, cry, and refocus.. We don't like to break down and cry in front of others. We have to be strong for them, so we keep it inside. It's true, you will never know what a Taurus woman is thinking.

Patience and loyalty (cont'd)
by: Carribean Limes

As for the fling with the Aqua, he may be providing her with some emotional balance. Which simply means she may feel more carefree around him. No worries, and that she's not being judged. She's probably feeling "For once, I don't have to feel consumed with someone else's problems." This may be just a temporary feeling, until your Taurus ex decides she wants more.
The best advice I can give you. Stop telling her you're having emotional panic attacks because of her. Laying a guilt trip will consume her. Remember, you want her to want you, to want to be with you, not to feel obligated to you. Check on her periodically, but don't stalk her, or start on an emotional tangent. You do not want to paint yourself as weak or codependent. She needs to see you as strong and capable. Get your sh%t together first!
As for the sex goes, I'm a Taurus, and trust me, despite our conservative demeanor on the outside, we love, love, love sex! All night if we can have it. I don't know too much about your sex life. But if the sex was amazing, I even doubt that she's complaining.

Keep us posted...

CANCER BAD
by: Anonymous

Taurus women are strong, you should move on,if you can't handle the situation or fight for a re-markable woman that will love you till the end of time,your choice.

ok.... NEW
by: TaurusGirl

honey i am sorry but she can't be with you if you won't have sex.
i had to leave my Leo ex as he had some pent up emotional issues and wasn't keen on sex (with anyone!). it was a very very hard decision for me.
if we (Taurus) decide to be with you, we throw ourselves into it.
you have to realise we are a very sensual sign.
we won't survive without cuddles and an active sex life.
you are best leaving her alone. you will have really hurt her and she would've tried her best to think things through without leaving you. sorry not meaning to sound blunt like a Sagi just trying to let you know how we are.

the other taureans are right NEW
by: TaurusGirl

we are very strong women and sorry i don't think you should be with a taurus for all the above reasons other taureans have passed on. we need affection and we try hard in relationships but can't babysit you.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How?
Simply click here to return to Taurus woman