The Aquarius Man is ....Married
by Red Oktober
There are some amazin women here who have helped me understand the AquaMan in my life - THANK-YOU so much for taking the time to post. I'm a true-blooded Scorpio woman too!
There are also some great Aquarius men who have taken the trouble to give us insights into their character and special way of thinking. I salute you!
Any Aquarius men willing to read and comment on this post would be very kind to do so, and it would be appreciated.
Me and Aqua met 10 years ago, had a really strong connection and liked each other very much. he told me back then that he was always thinking about me - and it was mutual. Though we never got around to having sex, we did spend one night cuddling and holding each other close and that just made us feel even more 'bonded'/. Long story short, we then suddenly disappeared from each others lives for 10 years. At the time, I was told some pretty nasty lies about the Aqua by someone I thought was a friend. (The same manipulative 'friend' who
then declared his love for me! I made the wrong choice back then and fell for 'the friend'. Big mistake. HUGE Mistake.) At the time, I believed the lies and didn't realize that I was being manipulated so badly. The result was that I stopped all contact with Aqua and he didn't 'come back'.
I met the Aqua again 1 yr ago, after a 10 year gap - the spark is there and stronger than ever, but he's married now. i'm happily unmarried tho. He let it slip that he had googled me a few times over the years, but i didn't admit that i'd done the same.
We have met up a few times in the last year. Usual pattern is that he'll text to meet up, then we'll spend an evening and be extremely close & intimate, talk a lot, hug, kiss, cuddle and have the most amazing sex and cuddles all night and the next morning too! When we get up, he's more distant tho.
Neither of us feels like talking about emotional stuff, (in my case, i just don't care to ask anything, i just enjoy him so much). so its world events, work stuff etc that we talk and debate about. We have never discussed our feelings for each other, but I have told him that I like him and his character and him very much. This was done in a fun way, not a 'heavy' way and was very much in passing conversation. He did not say anything like that back and looked a little uncomfortable, like he didn't know how to react. (i was careful not to make eye contact when i said it, but from the corner of my eye, i did see that he was shocked, even a little offended (!) and just looked up at me not knowing what to do! I've since told him the same thing a couple of times - again, spur of moment and in the context of conversation and in a very light-hearted, non-threatening way. No reaction, so far - not a verbal one, anyway!
This will give you Scorpio girls a laugh...When I text him the next morning after he's left, I usually say something like
"Nice to see you last night - take care. X" and his reply..?? "Thanks"
Ha ha ha ha ha - it actually makes me laugh at this stage, its sooo like him to 'pull away' like that! At first, I thought that i'd done something wrong, and I especially thought so when i didn't hear from him again for a month or two. At first, i did NO research into Aquarius men and was just plain hurt and confused. But now, it all makes a bit more sense and i expect the distant behavior. similarly, if i text just to say HI, it is met with an instant, but detached reciprocal greeting!
By the way, I have my own life and stuff going on, I feel attractive and sexy, I am a big risk-taker professionally and personally and have some exciting projects and plans on the go. I have done and achieved a lot in a long time and a short time and I confidently do things very much my own way. I've always preferred to 'take the lead' in everything I do - but with Aqua, I seem to behave completely differently to normal. I'm letting him call the shots and initiate contact, and when he does, he always invites me to make/suggest what we do for the evening. I don't sit around waiting for him to text, but I do constantly wonder when he will.
So, this is where we are now...
Each time I have seen him, the closeness, intimacy and the sex are fantastic. I put absolutely no emotional pressure on him whatsoever. I never ask about his wife and he never tells. He has only phoned me once (when i hadn't heard from him for 6 weeks) - and will usually text once every month or two. If he cancels, I'm not too disappointed and never give him a hard time about it - in fact, i'm very understanding and tell him its no biggie. Then he makes up for it.
So...I last saw him about 3 weeks ago and had an amazing time,. I texted him a week later to say HI - and "accidentally" planted a nice mental image of me for him to chew over. His reply was a detached, but later that night, he texted to find out more about the little 'seed' i planted. Once a couple of curiosity questions were answered, he fell silent! That was a couple of weeks ago now.
I'm not going to text him, but, given his pattern of doing things, I expect him to text and want to meet up in the next 1-4 weeks. And then we will have a grate time again, but then the same pattern will follow afterward.
Just to say - sometimes when he comes around, or sometimes by text, he will surprise me by remembering a tiny detail that I thought he'd ignored from months or even years previously. He also seems able to recall EVERY conversation we had 10 years ago. Each time i see him, he seems to 'give' a bit more of himself to me' - and I sure do reciprocate, but not instigate. I feel that we are getting closer each time, but still with the same 'disappearance act' in between each time.
Please no moral lectures about me seeing a married man. I am an adult and aware of the negative consequences - so is he. And, for the record, I would NEVER NEVER have seen myself in this situation. He has no kids with his wife, which actually would make me cut all ties strait away, as I would never hurt any child's heart, nor participate in that happening. I also believe that all is fair in love and war, and that nobody can, nor should seek to "own" anybody.
He never complains or feels sorry for himself, but I do know that he had a hellish period of a couple of years since we first met, and I think that he is still a little fragile from it. I also know that he is very busy with irregular work hours and other work commitments. I want to make him happy and adore him for just the man he is - and I feel that he is the only one I can do that for.
Can you seasoned Scorps please help advise me here?! The elephant in the room is that he is married (he's 41). That aside, his behaviours have been exactly described by many of the regular posters to this forum - its almost as if when he disappears from your life, he comes into mine - then onto someone else and back again in cycles! (maybe its the same guy?!!!)
So...my questions are:
1) Why is this Aqua Man cheating on his wife?
2) Why with me?
3) What does he get out of the situation?
4) What intentions does he have towards me?
5) Is it possible that he is in love with me? How can I tell?
6) Is the situation causing him conflict in any way?
7) Is this situation hurting him in any way?
8) Would it ever enter his mind to leave his wife?
9) Do AquaMen imagine themselves with other people, in different scenarios?
10) Is he likely to ever get around to telling me how he feels about me?
11) What would it take for him to have that conversation?
12) The big question...! bearing in mind that we remember each other so fondly and so well from 10 years ago - and given his increasing 'closeness' (still with 1-2 month distances though) - can you predict his next behavior?
I strongly feel that he is 'The One' for me. I love him and have no problem with him needing his space and thinking time whenever he wants. I'm happy to let it ride for a while and see if the pattern of increasing closeness continues. If he decides he doesn't want to see me anymore, I just know that it'll end nicely, but still won't be over - in our hearts and minds at least.
I think about him all the time and I'd appreciate any comments that can help me understand the implications of being involved and in love with a married AquaMan. Thanks again - you're all magnifico!
13 Sep 2010