Why does my Aries man keep pushing me away?

by Barbara

I have done nothing but show love toward this Aries, only because my body and mind go so goddamned gaga in his presence or even the thought of him! I know by past body language and brief conversations that he liked me too, but he has turned so bitter towards me and refuses to read my txt, card from Valentine's flowers, or letters. He just writes F..k off! and places it on my plate at the cafe when he serves up my meal! What an insecure, pathetic little prick? Today he had a flat tire when he arrived at work...then he gave me my card with inscription on it...I believe karma was at work on him big time!! I am one of the FEW people that even think him nice, or want to be his friend, and he totally rejects me! I honestly think he can't deal with the emotion, so he has to push me away in the nastiest way to prevent him having to face reality. The problem is, I really do love the prick and love doesn't fade instantaneously! I haven't even been able to cry yet, but know it will come soon enough...only because I took Emergency Essence drops to keep me calm. How can someone so lonely and very depressed be so horrible to someone who truly loves them? I am also guessing male menopause is at work...he is 45yoa. I know how moody and depressed I was with the female stuff, so can possibly forgive him momentarily bearing that in mind. I am just not good at rejection when he hasn't given me a fair go. I hope one day he gets through his menopausal stages and sees the pain he has caused. To make it even worse, I had a guy who was serious about wanting to be with me and I pushed him aside for the stubborn, arrogant, confused and sad Aries!!! Hindsight...

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and he is back!!
by: barb libra monkey

Unreal! Within an hour of my post above, the Aries Dragon comes up to my home(whixh is out of his way) in his Avenger, stereo blaring and window down, does a u-turn and drives off... What the??
I had my bedroom light on, so can only assume he was hoping I was still actually awake, or was just checking I hadn't done myself in after his nasty inscription, or, thirdly, maybe showing me how it feels when I go to the restaurant and don't talk to him (I don't like to intervene with work), and wanted me to feel the same anxiety and frustration. It would be nice to think he was actually feeling sorry for his actions.(:

by: Anonymous

Aries men are renown for wanting the chase. I mean that don't like being chased - it turns them off and they usually turn away and run!!! My advice is step back - he knows you care so give him space. Their character is they like to chase, not to be chased, they don't want an easy woman but want to work for it (if you see what I mean) so you have done well so far. They are the 'peterpan' of the zodiac and everything is 'memememe'. They are renown for being selfish both intentionally and innocently, because they are all about themselves so don't consider other people and their feelings in the same way as you and I. They are ardent lovers and known for their jealous streak, but don't cope well with notions of trying to get them jealous so don't play that card if I was you. They go for feminine woman but not those that will allow them to treat them as a doormat so stand your ground with him and don't allow him to tread on you. They are known for their directness, but the Aries man I know is not as confident as he might appear. They are the youngest and first sign of the zodiac so throw their toys out the pram often - you will have to compromise if it is to succeed, but obviously you need to be happy too. The Aries man I know had me upset and confused when we first met because they do give mixed signals. I went on this website and got loads of sound advice by others who had experienced the Aries male. My suggestion is to look at other comments and you will get an insight into how he ticks (rightly or wrongly), but it does help you understand them and then it is much easier to deal with them because you know what they are playing at. I am now much more empowered and whilst I am playing hard to get (he's recently divorced) I have much more control because I know what answers to give to keep him interested and preserve my sanity plus more importantly to not get used. You best bet is to look at the other comments and experiences. Hope this helps you a bit. So lift your chin off the floor and empower yourself to cope with this guy. Best of luck!

great advice
by: Anonymous

Thank you to the anonymous writer above. Yours has been the most concise advice to date. In fact, it could have been written by himself(: I must admit, this time when I read the f'''k off message, I told the waiter, loud enough for him to hear, in front of a lot of people in the restaurant, that 'he can go an get f'd too". Maybe he liked me actually giving some back, and that could be why he ventured up to my place. However, there is a married woman who claims she is not interested, but is exactly the same star sign as myself, Libra Monkey, and I have suspected an affair with her for some time...since he started being nasty to me in fact. Today, at Tai Chi, early in the morning, which is opposite his unit, she came along walking her dog...she lives on the other end of the island, 8kms away and there is the biggest beach to walk her mutt , so maybe I was right. Her husband works away and she has told everyone she only stays with him for money. I will continue my own thing and be sassy if he gives me the chance.(: I have learned a lot from raising my Scorpio Ox child on my own...very volatile relationship, but we are now best friends with an unconditional love between us...this is what I hope to achieve with this man(: Thanks again.

by: Anonymous

Yeh you could be right about the other woman, but he will soon tire of her if she serves herself on a plate! Just got home from seeing this Aries man I know - haven't seen him for two months and it seems to have done him the world of good. He is a dog trainer and has been helping me with the training of my dog. He got very nasty when he realised I wasn't about to give it up like that and so I told him to stop texting me (most contact by texts) if it was to do with personal stuff - just phone instead. Had no problem him texting/phoning me re training stuff but effectively he was using the texts to be nasty and really awlful and I told him I wasn't going to be the butt of his joke or a doormat. It really has done him the world of good as having seen him today re training he is far nicer and more chilled. He obviously still fancies me (told me b4 that I didn't turn him on anymore or was his type anymore)but that was just to be a bastard and upset me. So that's why I said they will say stuff to get a reaction etc - sometimes it is intentional and sometimes they have 'foot in mouth syndrome'. They do not realise in the same way as most people about be tactful when it comes to human emotions and they are very sulky and childish plus they can be stubborn as hell. However, if you understand all these things then you can manipulate him (if that is the right word). I found out today by all that was said and done that this guy does fancy me and is turned on but I think he respects me too - because I wasn't a walkover and I am quite capable of standing my ground. They prefer independent women and so if you are clingy it will definitely frighten them off. Sometimes you will have to step back and be more coy and distant - I know it is hard because if you are comfortable with someone you can forget yourself a bit. Just always be aware that you can be too open. In my case he asked me a load of personal stuff then threw it back in my face by saying that I was too honest. So you can be damned if you do and damned if you don't with some of them. You just have to try and read the situation whilst obviously preserving your own 'heart'. They can also be very very jealous but trying to make them jealous will turn them off. I am lucky in that men tend to speak to me but I know that when I told this guy that I had been talking to another guy about my dog, you could see the green monster starting to stir. The funny thing was that I hadn't said what I said to get a reaction it was just talking. However, if I had gone out to make him jealous he would probably have picked up on it and then turn on his heels. Read some of the other comments and you will be a pro at dealing with this guy in no time. It worked for me!!!!

more advice
by: Anonymous

Wow! You could be talking about the same guy here, but know you aren't(: My man that I simply adore did all of that to me and the past two days, we have been forced to face each other on the road on our ways to and from work, and in situations where we were forced to slow down at the very point in time! Both times we had our radios on the same channel and both times there were deep and meaningfujl songs on , so perfect!
Last night he must have walked up to my place after work, as I saw a cab picking someone up when I had my earphones in watching a dvdd...he is the only person I know that gets a cab to pick him up at the junction of a dead end...very quiet neighbourhood. I also lost my mobile hours before on the mainland, so he couldn't get through anyway if he was trying to txt from downstairs. However, I do feel he is mellowing, and got to talk with his co-workers on the way over to town...didn't say much about him, but did let them know I think he is really a lovely person hiding behind a wall. I feel very calm around his work and when I see him now, besides the butterflies inside, but no anger or fear. I am quietly confident he will come over and actually come up to the door for once soon.(:

by: Anonymous

Glad your situation is improving. To show it can improve let me update you on my position. I put my foot down in January cos I found him using texts to be very nasty basically he got mad because I wouldn't just sleep with him. So I told him that he should txt only for training and that any chat re personal stuff he was to do by phone because I wasn't going to be butt of his jokes or allow him to be nasty using txts as the vehicle to do so. He didn't ring etc but had to contact him after 2 1/2 wks for training advice (genuinely & with gritted teeth) and he sent me a nice txt the following day. Never bothered til Val day when I just sent a kiss via text. So he knew I still liked him but wasn't taking any crap from him. Thn got a text back the following day (which I knew would happen and also confirmed he still liked me) and after a few txts pulled back again. Had to phone him two wks later to book training slot and he was fine again. Thn met for training during the week and wow what a difference. More respectful etc - I was just my normal self but tried to be restrained at the same time which as you know is difficult when you just want to hump the guy (haha). Got invited in for coffee and chatted for ages and it was so so easy between us. Loads of texts since but then he threw in a curve ball whn I asked him about an affair he had 4 years ago whilst still married. He admitted he will always love her and set about detailing her virtues which was a real low blow. I was gutted, but also realised he done it on purpose because after he told me he would always love her he said he had to go. So basically left me with those thoughts sitting in my lap. So now I have to back right off and apart from training will be giving him a wide berth. What I am saying is that you have to always keep yourself reined in with these guys, because they seem to be so nice and then try to regain their control by throwing in the curve ball like this guy did. So always be on your guard and don't be over confident. Last night I was really upset but I am fine now because I know the only way forward with him is for me to let go of him. He told me earlier not to be writing myself off with him because he has to get his head around relationships but at the same time you have to protect yourself. You can't allow them to think they can treat you as they please and throw you away and come back later to restart where they left off. So proceed with caution and always remembers the next obstacle is always around the corner with these guys. He also told me that life is strange and that you can be married to someone for so long and then meet someone (i.e. me) and just connect on such a level. He said not love at first sight but something so strong that you just connect; that he was a one woman guy - thn the curve ball a day later (just telling you to warn you nothing is a straightforward and if you aren't ready you can become so hurt very quickly).

more advice.....
by: barb libra monkey

Well, thanks again. Today, after see3ing him come up to my place on at least 3 occasions late after he finishes at the restaurant, and me keeping to myself, not putting myself in his space at all, and my phone being unreachable for 2 days, I ventured to the restaurant for a take away lunch...which he would have o cook for me(: It is a beautiful day so I wanted to go for a swim after a heavy morning on the internet researching for a court case. When I opened the box at the beach, he had put in 2 extra types of sauce with teh lemon for my fish and chips(: He is so sweet when he wants to be. Then on the way home, I dropped in to get a cool drink and he must've seen me coming, and just happened to appear from the kitchen to face me and just stood next to the waitress like a little boy waiting to ask her something that was unecessary(: He tried real hard to show no emotion, or to look at me. However, on his way back to the kitchen, he turned to face my way whilst talking to waitress...he looked terrible...really depressed, and his eyes were yellowing...not a good sign. I really want to call him and give him some sound medical advice (I am qualified), and to say it is okay to actually come up my steps and knock, but not sure whether to or not as I would be taking What would you do, knowing he has been checking up all week?

more advice
by: barb libra monkey

Hi again.
Well, as predicted, he parked across the road after work...not sure he knows I saw him. Then my neighbour comes home, and I hear the 2 of them (my neighbour is a vindictive prick)talking in muffled tone under my lounge window! I was playing a cd I actually bought for him...so ignored them and went back to the laptop. Next thing, he walks back to the car and drives off! What a gutless little prick! I have NEVER judged him by what others say, but he is so busy trying to hate me, as he can't believe someone can love him unconditionally, so he has never got to know the kind and beautiful person that I really am! Anyway, I really wanted to talk to him about his liver, but it is so quiet here that if I called him the neighbours would hear every word...so I txt him and asked him why he tells me to f off then comes up here. I also said that male menopause sucks, to let him know I understand mood swings. I told him I could help his medical condition if he lets me and as a friend, could call me anytime. Well, I guess he is angry because I txt him, so no answer. How gutless is he? Now I smell urine at the back steps again...

not so nice aries
by: Barb Libra Monkey

Well, today is the beginning of a new life for me...without the cantancerous Aries Dragon male!
I have been ignoring him as much as possible for quite some time now, ohter than a brief greeting or odd wave from the car in passing...polite behaviour.
However, the past few days he has made a point of waiting at a bar not far from home, but on the only road I can take to do my job. He waits there until he hears/sees my car, then follows to see where I go, or to inadvertently be in my space but never has the guts to talk to me. Today, on my way to work this afternoon, just as Adam Lambert's song 'Waddya Want From Me?!' came over the car radio, I looked up and there was the red nose of the Avenger coming toward me! What timing! I gave a small wave of acknowledgement and kept going...he slowed, usually speeds, and went to the bar...knowing I would be back soon.
Sure enough, on my way home, with plans to drop by that bar already to talk about media for a festival I am organising, as I pull up, there is his car! I couldn't believe it! As per usual, he must've seen the car coming and heard it, so headed to his car...only to be confronted by my presence heading in and met at the steps. I pleasantly said Good afternoon and he said Hi to me...no animosity in the tone, but more like fear.
I felt for him and txt later to ask if he wanted to talk. He in turn, txt back to say I am now banned from both hotels where he works and am parasitic scum! I have NEVER been a parasite, and am organising a festival for teh past 6 months FOC! I constantly give more than I receive, and now it seems I have given more than I have or will ever receive to this man! What a coward! He cannot cope with my presence, but certainly gives off vibes of liking me, so retaliates b y making sure I will not be able to make him feel for me or me for him by banning me and making a public spectacle of me as I am more popular than him. Who said Aries are tough guys? They are pathetically weak and use abuse to cover their incredibly insecure nature!

by: Barb Libra Monkey

Well, after having his friend confirm that I am definitely banned from the two hotels, (no loss really) I went to a friend for a Reiki session. What I discovered throughout the treatment was how much I really do love the man. The other important realisation was why he called me a parasitic scum! I realise now, he must've thought I had just drained all his emotion from him when he would play the beautiful romantic songs at his work for my benefit, but I didn't reciprocate...only because his boss told me not to. He feels I have betrayed his feelings, but this is definitely not the way I saw events at the time. I see now, as he is a deeply emotional man who needs careful nurturing and has obviously been deeply hurt as a young man and lost faith in we women. How do I prove that I am NOT like other women, and really do understand and care for him? I feel so badly for him, as it must be torture being locked in a head that won't allow the words you want to say flow? How awful to be so hurt that you can't cope with your potential love talking with another man, no matter if they are workmates...so little trust.
I am so very sorry I inadvedrtently hurt this precious soul and just want to go and hug him so long and hard and reassure him it is okay to cry, and I will NEVER leave if given a chance to be his. In my dreams...unfortunately):
Do I love him? HELL YEH! I sent him lots of white light whilst having my Reiki, so hope he received it and sleeps well tonight(: I want him to be happy, and if that means I am not allowed near his workplace, than so be it. I don't feel offended now I realise how much pain I have caused him unwittingly. Yes, they are direct in speech when hurt, but such softies like you won't believe! It would complete me if he would come around and say it is okay again(:

by: Barb Libra Monkey

Well, apparently my interpretation of a parasitic scum is different to an Aries version...so my Aries girlfriend tells me. She seems to think just like him and she claims it means a clingy person...like a leech! Not nice, but now I see it clearer. Hope it helps anyone wanting to know why they are in the bad books. It's times like these I wish I weren't a vulnerable Libran! We are sooo trusting and refuse to see the bad in others...to our detriment.

Aries n aries
by: Anonymous

Have been going around with this guy foor 9 month both of us are aries and was very beautiful..but was alwys guilty both of us are married ..weird i know but he would alwys say its ok..but he got tired of my guilt and went off... two weeks ago we work together i showed i am moving on but i am totaly a zommbie without him.........he is acting friend but says no more loves me that ways.......dont know i am totally gaga over him.........dont want to loose him ..what do u think

well, he doesn't tell me to f*** off, but...
by: libra woman

I met an aries man about 2 months ago. He and I hit it off on the first night. He was slow to introduce me to his friends and family because he worries a lot about what others will think. He really liked that they all like me. We went in head first and strong: he stayed at my house nearly every night, we went out of town together..you could say we were inseparable. However, we are both very busy. We both hold full-time jobs, go to college, and are involved in multiple social groups and we both try to hit the gym about 2-3 days a week. Neither one of us has really expressed our feelings to one another even though I felt like we both felt something very strong. We can have conversations for HOURS on end.

In the past couple of weeks he started to cancel lunches, stay at work late, etc. He said that he is stressed with work and school which I am sure he is. The other night he wanted to "meet and talk to me" and my heart sunk. I was crying in my car before I went in. He and I talked and he said he doesn't think he can "give me what I need"..I maintained my dignity and heard him out. Then, overnight he sent me an email about how classy and wonderful I am and the next day a text that said I was "worth a relationship." Huh? I am so confused. I have not chased him since, but I did send him an email just telling him how much I respect and care for him and how I feel. I have not bothered him since, but I also have not heard from him. He is either mad that I have ignored him, or he is doing school work and will respect that I gave him space. OR he met someone else and is very confused. The not knowing is eating me up inside.

Seems like I am not alone.

On & Off Aries relationship
by: Flava

I have been with an aries guy for over 3 yrs. At first he couldn't get enough of me, but after yr 2 he's mostly distant and stressed. Whenever he's having his problems I just have to let hm be, as he'll snap at you.There are times when they will recognize their faultsn be sorry about it, Even though sometimes they don't say direct sorries, they expect you to forget what they did. The last time i walked out on him, we never spoke much really until he turns up always asking if i am dating or if i have moved on. They give mixed signals. They seldom don't mean what they say. Right now i haven't heard from him in some weeks... but that's how he has been.But if they truly love and care for you they will come back around.....

Whats with all the Hate??
by: Anonymous

I'm an Aries man and it's really annoying how misunderstood we are... What's wrong with all you women? Why does everything have to black and white for you? LibraMonkey you are no where close to understanding what goes on in an ariens head... Out of all your posts the only one that made a wee bit of sense was your realization, the fact that we don't have faith in women... You spend so much time with a woman loving truly with all your heart and then one day just like that they get up and think its time to improve you, mold you into their idea of what a perfect man should be but lets not talk about this the very thought makes me depressed... Seeing as we're crap at speaking about our feelings we either text or make romantic gestures (such as playing romantic songs)... I think these words by Kahlil Gibran best describe us, or well me atleast-

Defeat, my Defeat, my solitude and my aloofness;
You are dearer to me than a thousand triumphs,
And sweeter to my heart than all worldglory.

Defeat, my Defeat, my self-knowledge and my defiance,
Through you I know that I am yet young and swift of foot
And not to be trapped by withering laurels.
And in you I have found aloneness
And the joy of being shunned and scorned.

Defeat, my Defeat, my shining sword and shield,
In your eyes I have read
That to be enthroned is to be enslaved,
And to be understood is to be levelled down,
And to be grasped is but to reach one's fullness
And like a ripe fruit to fall and be consumed.

Defeat, my Defeat, my bold companion,
You shall hear my songs and my cries and my silences,
And none but you shall speak to me of the beating of wings,
And urging of seas,
And of mountains that burn in the night,
And you alone shall climb my steep and rocky soul.

Defeat, my Defeat, my deathless courage,
You and I shall laugh together with the storm,
And together we shall dig graves for all that die in us,
And we shall stand in the sun with a will,
And we shall be dangerous

what';s with all the hate?
by: barb libra monkey

Thank you for your clarity...must be the day for it!
firstly, hate is a very strong word, and not really one I would use.
Confusion and frustration are more the point here.
I haven't ever shaped or moulded anyone, as never got the chance...and if I can't accept them for what they are, and they me for what I am, what would I be doing with them in the first place?
I have accepted the Aries Dragon for himself and tolerated his abuse, knowing that deep down there is a beautiful person within him.
I find it so very sad that we Venus women are so greatly attracted to you Mars men and yet never get the chance to really enjoy each other the way we should be able to because of stupid pride and the whole having to chase thing...attraction is attraction and why does it have to go to rules of some game?
I am one of the most misunderstood women on the planet, which is why I am so lonely. What I truly want from this life is for the person I am attracted to to love me in the same way and have respect for me and treat me like an equal, talk to me, laugh with me, walk the beach with me, listen to quality music under the stars, watch the sunset go down, make beautiful love to me and with all that, be my best friend. However, I am also one who chooses who she wants to be with...very few am I attracted to.
I can see the craziness of my past posts, but was caught up in a whirl of feelings I hadn't experienced before and was unable to fathom out and know how to handle.
I hope now, that I am wiser and can do nothing but put out to the universe for a beautiful man to come sweep me off my feet and enjoy what is left of my sad life.
Thanks again for the roasting...strangely enough, I appreciate it.
I guess some of us were just meant to spend one of our 10 lives alone to prepare us for the next...for me, my eighth time on the planet.

what's with all the hate?
by: barb libra monkey

Remiss of me...I forgot to mention I too am shy in my own way, and unable to say what I feel, so although the beautiful music may be played in my honour, needed some follow-up to know I wasn't going to make a fool of myself by being flattered.
Why is it that every time I say I actually like a man, that I am denegrated by them and treated like some kind of slut...why can they not accept that I am genuinely wanting to be nice? Why is it that just because I am female I am not allowed to speak my heart when the Aries man is too afraid to so uses his lovely poetry and music? We are ALL human and ALL have the right to express love for each other. This will perplex me to my grave.

what's with all the hate?
by: barb libra monkey

Anyone would think Aries men are the only ones to have their hearts broken and women the only ones to mould partners.
The only man who truly loved me was taken by a female who not only took the man, but also the dream I had for the property I always wanted to live on. Then, she moulded him and manipulated his life.
Please don't EVER put me in that category! I too have loved with ALL my heart and soul and had it torn out without anaesthetic, so I DO know how it feels. Defeat? give me a break! Get over it like you expect me to and accept love when it is on offer .

My experience with Aries male
by: Libran Rooster

Hi guys..I can definitely feel your heartache..for the first time in my life I got involved with an aries..oh Gosh..you are so right..this man is moody. Let me tell you one thing first..I have never loved a man this much in my life and I am 42..he is actually younger to me..his behaviour..gestures..moves..and the way he speaks..totally has made me fall in love with him head over heals. When we are together..it's match made in heaven and we have been seeing each other for over a year..as much as he makes me feel absolutely warm, loved and cared for (never said he loved me)when he is away he makes me feel like the North Pole.I am also confused..but trying hard not to get upset about his mood swings. I adore him and we have a great time when we are together so I have decided to enjoy what I can and while it lasts as I truly am in heaven when he is with me.

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