Another Scorpio woman confused by Taurus man
by Lady Scorpion
(home sweet home)
Hello there, I need an advice regarding Taurus man.
I fall in love with one special Taurus male. He is a really kind heart and reliable person. We are in the same team at work. After investigating him for a year long, i feel that he might have an interest in me. I catch him glancing and staring at me a few times, i found him around me, and it made me feels kinda special. So..a few weeks ago, I brace myself and texting him, saying: "are you busy?". And he immediately called me. We talk for 2 hours. After that phone call, he would text me and asking that is it ok for him to call me again? And so we talk through the phone every night for 5 days in a row. He talk about his family and many more. At that point I feel so happy, thinking that he really might be like me too.
And then the next day, one of our friend told him that I like him, and on the next phone session we talk about it. He said to me that he kinda knows that i like him from the start, but he is not sure. He is old, 20 years older than me (I'm 25). So I asked him, did he like me back? He said he can’t answer right now because he is not sure that he want to get married, he is not sure he can afford his family in the next 20 years when he is not working anymore. So I asked him again, why would he called me every night as if he likes me too? And he said that he didn’t want to hurts my feelings (damn it!). But than he also said these: if he is sure that he wants to get married despite his age, did I ready to do that? He said that he want to considering me but he needs time to do so…and that he scared that when he is sure he wants me, I already move on. In the end we agree to take it slow and I want to wait for him.
And then my mother suddenly calling him secretly (I didn’t know!) and said that as the mature one, he had to see my future…that he is too old and I’m still young. The next day he called me and said that it would be best if we just be friends, that he is thankful of my feelings but he didn’t want to ‘hang me’, to make me wait and hope when he himself not sure of the outcome.
At first it really broke my heart. But after I’m calm, I can see that he feels more hurt than me, I can hear it in his voice. I realize that even though in the end we’ll be just friends, I already learn so many things and become a greater person by liking him. Because when I start to like him, there are these feelings to become a worthy woman, to improve myself, and I feel I become a better person. So I tell him these. I want to release him from stress. I didn’t want him suffer because of this, because I know he is suffering when he knows he hurts me before. He is a very kind soul who hurt himself more when he feels that he already hurts others.
After I told him these, he then said to me the reason of his sudden decision is my mother intervention. And when I know what exactly my mother’s words to him, I know that there were many untrue fact that being said. When he knows the truth, he said he is surprised, that he almost making the wrong decision. I said to him, he is my real first love (it’s true). I’m not the kind of woman who falls easily, because I’m not trust people easily too. When I fall in love, I know it would take years to forget him. So I said to him that I’ll still waiting for him. I’m not going to pushed him to make decision; it’s all in his hands now. I said that whatever his decision, whatever he gives me in the end (friendship, attention, love, whatever) I’ll readily and happily receive it, and I really mean it from the bottom of my heart. I said to him that I love him sincerely from the bottom of my heart and I’ll not stray by other man, because when I love, I love passionately and intensely. I’m not one to play with my sincerity.
After that huge confession, we start to get closer again. I’ll text him and he will call me back and we’ll talk for hours. He is a busy man, and he said that he is tired after works, but despite all that he still called me and talk to me until after midnight every night. I even start to call him in the morning to wake him up because he said he has trouble wake up in the morning. He bought a new cell phone, special to make a phone call to me, and it made me really flattered. He would randomly texting me just to ask what I’m doing right now. All of these little things he does make me feel happy and loved.
But secretly, I still feel insecure. I remember his previous words before, that he kept calling me because he feel sympathy and sorry to me, that he does all that just out off his kindness. But I tried to press these insecurities, because I think that if he knows about this, it will pressure him. Until oneday, when we talk again about relationship, he, again, said to me that we are being friends. That he enjoy our conversation, and like my companion. He likes to make friends and sharing. When I hear this, I can’t help and think that I’m still on square one. That it might be just my imagination that he gave me special attention. I’m confused and hurt by his mixed signal. His actions are intimate, but his words are different. I’m confused of what he wants. Is he only want a friendship, deep friendship, with me; or he want to have a relationship but still not sure? I know he feel lonely, he said so himself, so I can’t help but thinking, could it be he just using me for his own comfort? But because I already told him that I’m not gonna pressure him and asking his feeling for me anymore, that I’ll accept anything he gave me, I can’t ask him. I need an insight from another Taureans or people who knows them well enough. I need your advice. Thank you very much.