Aquarius man just wants to be friends

I am a gemini woman of 42yrs... I look like I am in my 20's tho... and this is one reason why my Aquarius man of 43 likes me so much. I take excellent care of myself spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically and these are the traits that attract me to him. I am extremely loyal, sensitive, very grounded and love affection and am highly sensual with high sex drive. I am extremely passionate, compassionate, kind, sweet, positive, open, trustworthy and all about truth and honesty. The stability, family, home and security within a relationship are crucial and non-negotiable for me. I am not flighty nor am I wishy washy and I do not like lies and dishonesty. I dislike manipulation of any sort. I am extremely emotional and sensitive but yet I am highly evolved emotionally and mentally and know when to pick my battles.... truthfully, I do not like confrontations but will be truthful about my feelings, even if it will rock the boat.

The man I am dating or rather, no longer dating... we are now "friends"... he is so afraid and constantly pushing me away, but not too far. He is always sending me confusing signals... very hot and then distant and cold. Yet, now that we are friends... he is alot more flirtatious and friendly and even affectionate like he used to be, which I missed so dearly. When we do get together once a month... he is flirting with me constantly and the passion and chemistry between us... is not to be denied. Even others on the outside looking in, have commented that they can tell he has the major hots for me. It's uncontrollable... we just cant seem to help ourselves. Even when he says he is trying so hard to respect me as a friend and not hurt me in any way, he can't help the chemistry and we end up being intimate and spending the night. He does not want any confinement or to feel obligated to anyone in anyway... he wants total freedom and does not want a relationship right now. Even the friends with benefits thing he is uncomfortable with. He does not want to answer to anyone or feel like he has to call anyone of see anyone in particular... which I totally get and am ok with now that I understand how aquarians are.

When we first met, he did offer me exclusivity and introduced me to his friends and family members within the first 2-3 days of our dating.... for the next 4 weeks, we were spending every weekend together hanging out with his closest of friends and then things started to wane. He no longer called and texted me 3-4 times a day and that's when I started to ask what was going on.

Then soon after... we broke up, became friends, got back together again for another 2 weeks, broke up again and were friends again. And now... he doesn't even want to engage in any kind of sexual activity cause he feels obligated to call me, text me and go out with me even when I am ok with his need for independence. Mind you.... I have not asked for any commitment, I have not asked for him to call or reach out more to me... I know better now... as he did make it clear months ago that he can not provide any of this. In my mind, we were just friends who can't help the chemistry and passion btwn us... and I was ok with that. I didn't expect anything beyond this nor did I misunderstand the intimate situation recently... and he made sure I understood this before engaging in sex this last time. I was well aware of what we were doing and that it was not going anywhere or changing anything.

I don't understand why he is now asking we be only friends... platonic, non-sexual friends, when I have not asked him for anything in return. Why is he feeling obligation and confined when I have not asked for anything. He says, it's weird that a guy is asking for no-sex instead of the girl in the relationship. I know the sex was amazing... it was so obvious, it felt like old times. I know when I am with him, he loves it... has no complaints... it's when we are apart and gets a chance to analyze things that he then breaks up with me.

I am so confused.... I can clearly see he is so attracted to me, he says he cares so deeply for me and doesn't want me to get hurt and is trying so hard to be proper and respectful of the boundaries... he says he has too many things on his plate and doesn't want to get involved with anyone right now. I have not asked for anything at all... we are just friends.... still he pushes me away simply because we spoke 2 days in a row after our last sexual encounter. Can anyone interpret this for me? Am I crazy or is he really afraid of his feelings for me?

Can any aquarian male shed any light on this situation? Can a female gemini who's been in these situations shed any light? I feel like he doesn't appreciate my friendship or who I am. I have so many other men chasing after me... and of all the ones I like... it is the one who doesn't like or want me back? Why am I getting so many confusing messages from him... that's what I don't understand.

Please help me understand this man if you have any insights to share. A previos aquarian posted that if he is distant after being intimate, then it was just sex... and I disagree with that. This guy knows I am not into casual sex and he denies that we are ever casual, feels guilty that it even comes across that way... hence why he breaks up with me... bc he doesn't want to hurt me and he knows he can't give me what I am looking for.

But yet, he calls me to chat every 3-4 days and every now and then wants to hang out with me. He invites me to his apt and then he comes on to me... I don't think it is sex, it's the incredible chemistry and passion. He admits that he isn't looking for sex from anyone... and isn't looking or into dating multiple women. But I feel so hurt by his mixed messages and his rejection....can anyone advise me on what to do with this guy... what is the best way to handle this one? He was married once and had a terrible marriage and breakup... and he dumped 2 LTRs, one 4 & 1/2 yrs and the last 2 yrs being 3 yrs ago. They lied to him and pressured him to move in together or get married and have a family, in the end...
he left them for his freedom even tho he was deeply in love with both. Now I am dealing with these baggages he is carrying. He thinks I am going to do the same and try to trick him like these 2 other women did. Yet... he stil reaches out to me... I feel he wants me.. yet how he treats me is so hurtful and confusing. Please help... anyone.

TY ...for your feedbacks
Gemini confused....

Comments for Aquarius man just wants to be friends

Click here to add your own comments

Comforting to know all Aquas are alike
by: Anonymous

dear Gemini confused, did anyone ever respond to your post? I am not currently involved with an Aquarius man, but I was, and I have read so much about them.

It sounds like you have a real commitment-phobe on your hands. If I were you, I would tell him you are OK with just being friends, continue to flirt with him, but date other men.
I would be honest about my desire for relationship & commitment, but tell him you understand that this is not what he wants, and that you'll just stay as friends. Maybe if you give up, he'll come around. He might secretly think you're trying to manipulate him too (like the others)

have you ever tried reading the books by 'christian carter' on men & relationships? I find his work helpful.

Would love to know how things are working out with him if you're still involved with him at all.

Re: Aquarius man just wants to be friends
by: Anonymous

Sounds like the relationship developed way way too fast as well.And then I am always suspect of any man who asks to be non-sexual friends after the fact. I get suspicious he is gay or switch hitting. Or someone else is in the picture. hmmm...

Another gemini...

Gemini woman, Aquarius man
by: Anonymous

Wow Im in exactly the same position, gemini woman sort of seeing an aquarius man. Have lots of men chasing me but the intrigue of this man saying he is not ready for a relationship even though we have been sexual is compelling. I have decided to step back now as I dont want to get too involved with someone who is so unsure. He says if sex is getting in the way then he would rather be friends. Frustrating. I know he is really attracted to me but our frist was fantastic and it slowly went downhill with him putting in very little effort, as soon as I backed off he amped things up saying he really values my friendship and Im great to be around. He has anxiety problems and I have suffered the same myself in my teens so try to be understanding but the sexual side of our relationship is far more developed than the friendship side so dont really understand why he wants to be friends so much. Hmmm lets wait and see what happens.

He may have his sights on someone else and wants to give that a fair chance
by: Anonymous

This may or may not help, but I am aqua girl that has mainly been with aqua men and can say that in general, if they've found someone else they want to seriously pursue, they're likely to cut off sexual relations with all others, as they feel not giving the new partner a full, fair (fairness is key!) effort may diminish their chances of understanding exactly how they feel about that new person. No need to hear what he says as much as see his actions. And in the end, we aquas seek "truth" at the cost of almost everything else. If a mature aqua does consider the person in front of him the one, he will have absolutely no qualms in instantly making the decision to respect her and stay with her through thick and thin, and the sex can be amazing. If it's just about sex however, many aquas will eventually decide that he needs to stop relations, especially at no strings attached, as it is not fair to treat a woman in such a way (they may have a major crazy streak but they also have a streak of traditionalism and must believe that the woman with whom they are is deep down wholesome, respectable, cannot just be one of those that will just let him into her bed for fun). Sounds frustrating and paradoxical but then again, isn't that what we are? :P

so if he calls you friend that´s it?
by: Anonymous

My relationship with my aqua has been very sexual and confusing... sometimes frustrating. He kept coming back and I let him but I stopped flirting with him and just saw him a couple of times. He however was very direct with me and told me all kinds of stuff... because he wanted me to go to bed with him. I didn´t give in and after I rejected his last proposal he at first dissapeared and then he came back and told me he wants to be my friend. Does he really want it?. I rejected him because he had a girlfriend and I told him not to hurt anyone... and I had a boyfriend too. Now I feel very sad about this because I like him and he says we´re friends all the time. I haven´t told him the way I feel because of that. I need help, please.

Aquarius men best con man
by: Anonymous

They are the biggest cheaters, liars, and women jugglers you will ever meet. They be as unattractive as hell, yet somehow they can seduce any woman and she will fall, HARD. They are the talkers of the astrology chart. They intuitively know how to manipulate women and figure out exactly what to say at any given moment, and you will believe it. It mystifies me how many women fall for their bullshit.

Same situation different ending
by: Anonymous

I met this Aqua man at work and things got heated up after several weeks. He was the one i felt comfortable going out with for lunch at work, for dinner after work and of course parties. We ended up having sex for one or two months before I realized he has a gf back home. Everyone in the office can sense the chemistry between us but we never admit or deny anything - just keeping quiet to those teasing from colleagues. Then after I realized he has gf, i was sad and told him i might leave this country before his gf came to this city to live with him. He kept saying he doesnt want me to and he wanted me to stay but all he needs is a true friend from me. He is not comfortable with friends with benefit thing and same as me. He broke up with his gf because I was upset. But a few days later he hooked up with his ex gf and asked her to move in with him for a few weeks before the girl found out about us and left. Since then we never talked even in the office and everyone noticed the cold war between us. After another 2 or 3 months like this, he suddenly talked to me when we were back in the office and told me he still wanted to be my friend after all the things we'd been through. He told me he didnt want to be friend with his ex gf anymore but he has to get engaged soon with the other one because he's f**ked up too many things in his life and he can't disappoint his family anymore. And he still wanted to be my friend while i showed him I was perfectly okay and better without him... I don't know what he really wants from me. He kept telling me he was attracted to me but there was no deep feelings and we dont really know each other because we only met for less than half year and half of the time we were fighting. Why did he want to be friend with me suddenly? How does he feel about me now? I still have feelings for me and this is really a hard time accepting the truth he is getting engaged and soon the girl will move to our city... I need help :(

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Aquarius man.