Aquarius man just wants to be friends
I am a gemini woman of 42yrs... I look like I am in my 20's tho... and this is one reason why my Aquarius man of 43 likes me so much. I take excellent care of myself spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically and these are the traits that attract me to him. I am extremely loyal, sensitive, very grounded and love affection and am highly sensual with high sex drive. I am extremely passionate, compassionate, kind, sweet, positive, open, trustworthy and all about truth and honesty. The stability, family, home and security within a relationship are crucial and non-negotiable for me. I am not flighty nor am I wishy washy and I do not like lies and dishonesty. I dislike manipulation of any sort. I am extremely emotional and sensitive but yet I am highly evolved emotionally and mentally and know when to pick my battles.... truthfully, I do not like confrontations but will be truthful about my feelings, even if it will rock the boat.
The man I am dating or rather, no longer dating... we are now "friends"... he is so afraid and constantly pushing me away, but not too far. He is always sending me confusing signals... very hot and then distant and cold. Yet, now that we are friends... he is alot more flirtatious and friendly and even affectionate like he used to be, which I missed so dearly. When we do get together once a month... he is flirting with me constantly and the passion and chemistry between us... is not to be denied. Even others on the outside looking in, have commented that they can tell he has the major hots for me. It's uncontrollable... we just cant seem to help ourselves. Even when he says he is trying so hard to respect me as a friend and not hurt me in any way, he can't help the chemistry and we end up being intimate and spending the night. He does not want any confinement or to feel obligated to anyone in anyway... he wants total freedom and does not want a relationship right now. Even the friends with benefits thing he is uncomfortable with. He does not want to answer to anyone or feel like he has to call anyone of see anyone in particular... which I totally get and am ok with now that I understand how aquarians are.
When we first met, he did offer me exclusivity and introduced me to his friends and family members within the first 2-3 days of our dating.... for the next 4 weeks, we were spending every weekend together hanging out with his closest of friends and then things started to wane. He no longer called and texted me 3-4 times a day and that's when I started to ask what was going on.
Then soon after... we broke up, became friends, got back together again for another 2 weeks, broke up again and were friends again. And now... he doesn't even want to engage in any kind of sexual activity cause he feels obligated to call me, text me and go out with me even when I am ok with his need for independence. Mind you.... I have not asked for any commitment, I have not asked for him to call or reach out more to me... I know better now... as he did make it clear months ago that he can not provide any of this. In my mind, we were just friends who can't help the chemistry and passion btwn us... and I was ok with that. I didn't expect anything beyond this nor did I misunderstand the intimate situation recently... and he made sure I understood this before engaging in sex this last time. I was well aware of what we were doing and that it was not going anywhere or changing anything.
I don't understand why he is now asking we be only friends... platonic, non-sexual friends, when I have not asked him for anything in return. Why is he feeling obligation and confined when I have not asked for anything. He says, it's weird that a guy is asking for no-sex instead of the girl in the relationship. I know the sex was amazing... it was so obvious, it felt like old times. I know when I am with him, he loves it... has no complaints... it's when we are apart and gets a chance to analyze things that he then breaks up with me.
I am so confused.... I can clearly see he is so attracted to me, he says he cares so deeply for me and doesn't want me to get hurt and is trying so hard to be proper and respectful of the boundaries... he says he has too many things on his plate and doesn't want to get involved with anyone right now. I have not asked for anything at all... we are just friends.... still he pushes me away simply because we spoke 2 days in a row after our last sexual encounter. Can anyone interpret this for me? Am I crazy or is he really afraid of his feelings for me?
Can any aquarian male shed any light on this situation? Can a female gemini who's been in these situations shed any light? I feel like he doesn't appreciate my friendship or who I am. I have so many other men chasing after me... and of all the ones I like... it is the one who doesn't like or want me back? Why am I getting so many confusing messages from him... that's what I don't understand.
Please help me understand this man if you have any insights to share. A previos aquarian posted that if he is distant after being intimate, then it was just sex... and I disagree with that. This guy knows I am not into casual sex and he denies that we are ever casual, feels guilty that it even comes across that way... hence why he breaks up with me... bc he doesn't want to hurt me and he knows he can't give me what I am looking for.
But yet, he calls me to chat every 3-4 days and every now and then wants to hang out with me. He invites me to his apt and then he comes on to me... I don't think it is sex, it's the incredible chemistry and passion. He admits that he isn't looking for sex from anyone... and isn't looking or into dating multiple women. But I feel so hurt by his mixed messages and his rejection....can anyone advise me on what to do with this guy... what is the best way to handle this one? He was married once and had a terrible marriage and breakup... and he dumped 2 LTRs, one 4 & 1/2 yrs and the last 2 yrs being 3 yrs ago. They lied to him and pressured him to move in together or get married and have a family, in the end...
he left them for his freedom even tho he was deeply in love with both. Now I am dealing with these baggages he is carrying. He thinks I am going to do the same and try to trick him like these 2 other women did. Yet... he stil reaches out to me... I feel he wants me.. yet how he treats me is so hurtful and confusing. Please help... anyone.
TY ...for your feedbacks