How to keep a Scorpio man

by Wendy

Okay...I'm a Scorpio Woman who has also happened to date more than a few Scorpio men and the reason so many of you posting here are SO frustrated is because you are looking at his behavior in what YOUR perception is of his behavior.

A Scorpio man OR woman is going to have a "secretive" side that you will never touch. This isn't because they don't trust you nor because they're lying. It's just part of who they are. A safe zone in their minds to retreat to. This is important for Scorps to have to NOT become moodier, darker, or retract within their defenses.

Although I'm sure there are Scorpio men who cheat...don't mistake their sexual interest/ passion/ almost obsession with sex as an an indicator of whether he'll cheat or not.

He's much like a woman in terms of sex. He may act like sex is most important to him (and it is) but it's not for the reasons any other man behaves that way. He has natural problems feeling intimacy and has difficulty expressing his emotions/feelings toward you in words or actions OTHER than sex. A Scorpio man feels GREAT intimacy in sex and his interest/obsession with the sexual aspects of the relationship are not because he is a player or doesn't want emotional intimacy. That's how he achieves it and shows it to you most easily (at least that is what he thinks he's doing and is intending).

Scorpios in general are very physical and very sexual. Never mistake their sexual nature for being disloyal, not wanting commitment, or being a shallow player. You'll be worrying yourself over nothing because he's MUCH too selective to be a manwhore.

If he's selected YOU.... it's because he already knows there is both a sexual AND emotional connection. He's more perceptive than the average man which is both good and bad. Your regular feminine wiles won't work on him. He'll know which are sincere and which are not.

Arguments, psychology, and logic won't budge him an inch (I know this because those things don't budge ME an inch even as a Scorp woman).

But what is really at the heart of all that is that they are MORE emotional and MORE likely to fall in love than others. And more quickly, too. So they are terrified of sharing feelings or losing control in the traditional way and essentially "clam up".

A Scorpio isn't moved by tears or ultimatums. You'll lose even if they love you with all your heart. BUT....

They respect a person who stands up from themselves and who states clearly what they do and do not want.

State clearly what you want and need and DON'T point out his shortcomings. Just state your needs, let it drop, and give them a couple of days to ponder what you said.

A Scorp who loves you doesn't want to lose you.... they just don't want to be "bullied" into changing for you. But if you make it clear that you're unhappy about X and let it drop....their secret fear of you leaving them will override their pride/inability to share feelings/inability to "lose" and they will suddenly change their behavior (in your favor) out of the blue to make sure to keep you. And they won't forget or screw that particular thing up again.

This works the same for a male OR female Scorpio.

1. Never try to make a Scorp jealous. They're already jealous by nature and this will drive them away and make them not trust you in general.

2. Never insult their intelligence with trickery, reverse psychology, or insincere flattery/flirting. They'll have immediate disdain for you.

3. Never try to be "coy" when asking them something or trying to get them to share feelings.

What you SHOULD do:

1. Make it obvious you have your own mind...but don't push your opinions on them. Be someone they can respect because that's a HUGE part of their romantic interest in you.

2. Be sexy and passionate in mind and body (meaning you don't have to super-attractive, just confident and have an open/healthy attitude about sex)

3. Do NOT flirt unless you MEAN IT! If you insult their intelligence with fake flattery or meaningless flirts, they will remember it in the future if you try to pursue them for romance later down the road or become genuinely interested. Do point out their strong points in simple, honest ways. IE: "You are clearly really well-suited for the field you work in" (no fancy nonsense)

4. Big "DO" that people forget because Scorpio seems so moody and serious: A SENSE OF HUMOR!! Scorpio appreciates dry/sarcastic humor more than you can imagine and especially in a woman they like. Even though you'd think this would WON'T. They equate humor with intelligence and Scorpio men LOVE intelligence in a woman

5. Hug them to show affection, but don't lavish them with words, surprises, or too many gifts. They appreciate a "from the heart" gesture much more than the rest and big displays of affection embarrass them and make them uncomfortable.

6. You may think they're arrogant...they're not. Do NOT point out their flaws unless you MUST because Scorps are well aware of their flaws and already punish themselves for them. They just hide it with bravado and their secrecy/confident demeanor.

7. Dress sexy, not skanky....wear musky/exotic essential oils instead of perfume.... know a lot about the esoteric and even mythology... have a love for "how things work" and discuss it regularly. Scorpios love mystery and they'll be intrigued that you understand the importance of solving a good mystery (or at least having interest in it).

8. When they act jealous (which is often) don't be defensive.... just assure them by telling them there's no one who compares to them to take their interest away. It will soothe them quickly and lay their suspicious to rest most often.

9. When a Scorp man does the famous "interrogation" to find out all about you/your past/your interests just stare him straight in the eye and answer honestly with no signs of remorse. Meaning...your honesty and a clear answer to his questions is what he cares about most... not the reasons you did things/like things or your level of "guilt". He'll respect your resolve and honesty and think you're a "good woman" for it.

The comments about Scorpio men that are disparaging are mostly built on people truly NOT understanding him and THINKING that they do.

These men are HIGHLY sensitive, HIGHLY sexual, and very perceptive even when you think they aren't listening. They know when you're lying and although they're honest... yes, they WILL be vindictive. You tell one lie...he'll tell two. You manipulate him into something... he'll manipulate you twice.

Playing normal "girl games" with this man will not work.

Confidence, resolve, and engaging his mind/body both intellectually and sexually will be what makes him swoon for you.

If you haven't done those things...that's why you're failing to catch him or keep him interested/ loyal.

Comments for How to keep a Scorpio man

Click here to add your own comments

Sounds about right :)
by: Scorpio78

Here, here! From one scorpio woman dating a Scorpio nailed it. Great job.
I'm not sure why so many women jump to a negative conclusion about a man who acts mysteriously. Even though this man I'm dating has his moments of elusiveness, he has a heart of gold, and I see that about him. Maybe because I am a scorpio too and I understand deep down what he's looking for in a partner.
The real truth, I think, of what Scorpios really want (without sounding incredibly cliche) is that we truly want to find that soul-mate. Someone who we can reach a level of connection with unlike anything we've ever felt before. How can a person feign this? You can't. There is no amount of game playing, tricks, attempts, etc that can make this happen.....either it will r really be there or it won't.
This I think what we scorpios, male and female, are ultimately looking for....something intangible that cannot be expressed into words. A vibe that is either there or not. This is why some scorpios can be quiet....bc its difficult to convey in words what they are really thinking or feeling. Its also why we are so sexual. We literally crave that ultimate height of feeling and expression through orgasm and release, all while being close to someone we care about.....its the ultimate expression of emotional depth and passion of that intangible. We make love, not just sex. And despite many others opinions or thoughts, we are not just hornballs looking to get laid. E atte striving to reach the ultimate.
There is nothing you can do other than to honestly be the best version of your true self, real....and scorpio will either like you or not.
We lose respect FAST for game playing, trickery, shallowness, insincerity, superficial behavior. If you have cheated, or he has cheated to sleep with you.......regardless of what you might hope for, in his mind he will lose respect bc of the circumstances.
Be your real self ladies. Pick up on the energy/vibe with that Scorpio man. Be honest. Be loving. share an unspoken bond. Watch those non verbal expressions. Words are not necessary to scorpios. Show him through touch and eye contact how much you care. Trust him, be real.....and he will envelope you in love, IF you "feel" right to him. Like I said, its either there or its not....can't force it.

The real truth
by: Anonymous

I think this paints a rosy picture of the Scorpio man. Not saying it isn't true. It is. But that only describes the Scorpio man's personality, maybe by 80%.

I have experience in dating two Scorps...
1) They're extremely insecure, which is masqueraded by a false bravado. They like to give people the impression that they're desired, and wanted by so many people. Even if they have to create lies in order to convince you. Apparently they like to be the shot-callers in their relationship. And they like to give the individuals the impression that they're doing them a favor by dating them. Total BS!

2) They're notorious for stalking their exes. But they will give the newcomer a 'sugar-coated' version of the ex. The ex didn't measure up to their satisfaction. The ex was no good...or not good enough. But the truth remains, the ex didn't want them instead...and kicked them to the curb instead. But the poor, desperate Scorpio is still holding on!

3) They're like Geminis in that aspect. They're charming, persuasive, and very likeable in the beginning. But when you move in with them, you will find that they're moody, manipulators, actors, and pretentious people. At least Geminis have the intellect to pull it off! Scorps don't!

4) They will sleep around, cheat and flirt with any women in front of you. And you're supposed to sit back and accept it. But a scorpio will punish you for looking at another handsome man for a millisecond. Even if it's completely innocent. Can you say pot calling the kettle black?

Would I date another one?
Not if you paid me!

scorpio's and their mixed signals
by: Anonymous

I wished someone , maybe another Scorpio male, could tell me why they give mixed signals. Im crazy about a Scorpio man that I have known since I was young. He currently has a live in girlfriend that he left his wife of 20 years for, shes a manipulator and controls him she even says he thinks hes in charge, but I am! He claims he loves her, however every time he sees me ,at aparty or social event, even if its at his own home...he waits for the rite time then comes after me, pulling me into rooms, following me around, whispering for me to meet him around the corner, etc. . He drives me nuts! Then he says Im going to call you and never does, he says him and his so called girlfriend are a good fit, but he consistantly watches me in a crowd. I avoid him, Ive recently told him Im walking away from whatever this intense thing is between us, he never said anything in response. I have told him I will not be a mistress to a mistress and I have no respect for this girlfriend of his who constantly bad mouths him behind his back. Please someone tell whats up with this crazy Scorpio! Never told him she bad mouths him he can find that out on his own.

exactly right.....
by: Anonymous

thank you so much for giving me a useful information of scorpio's attitude and his might be very helpful for me to seduce my boyfriend who is a scorpio..............
thank u dude...............

So true about Scorpios!
by: Libra dancer

Thank you for that info detailed exactly for Scorpio. Very specific. Im dating a Scorpio for 2 months now, and need all the advice I can get . To keep him.
Well written and explained.

myths and facts
by: Aqua girl

I've been with my share of scorpio men.I am friends with 4 of them and engaged to 1 right now since 1 year.I have been with other zodiac signs aswell.First of all be with an evolved scorpio, an eagle who has practiced and learnt to control his flaws over the years and wont sting you to death(cussing,beating,throwing things,stalking and seeking revenge).And also his upbringing matters A LOT believe me it helps.It will still be there underneath but toned down.He will have better ways to handle his anger and way of seeking revenge will be less hurtful.I have met foul mouth,over confident,doing drugs and drowning themselves in alcohol,devil may care scorpios aswell.All of them who never learnt anything at home.Their parents had no control over them.Who dominated their parents( by emotional blackmailing and threats).Now my big advice is run away immediately before they give you the worst experience of your life unless you like danger and playing with explosives.They are grey lizards and they will make your life hell.If you are smart enough and learn to separate evolved one from an unevolved one then great.Evolved eagles are much easier to get along.They are sensitive,caring,super intelligent,suave,best dressed,mild mannered.Now they have all that scorpio traits too but they know how to handle them better than grey lizards.He's shy yes,he's secretive yes,he's sensitive yes.I believe i have met scorpio men who are much much more emotional and loyal than scorpio women.I find scorpio women wandering for attention more than male scorpio.I will only talk about evolved scorpios and not ones who beat,cuss and are behind bars.I dont believe that scorpio men hurt deliberately.They never go on inviting troubles.Be soft spoken and display charm,affection and be a lady.Dont talk straight out of your a$$ and behave like you know it all.Although they like strong and confident woman they dont like ones who are trying to hog the limelight and pushing everyone else aside.Career is important yes but so is he.I know sometimes we are bilnded by love.If he likes you girl he will express it and display it and you better embrace it and return it with same intensity.On the other hand if he has withdrawn in his shell,shuts down,withholds sex and emotions means either you have hurt him a lot or he is suffering and struggling inside trying to find a way to let you go.He might stray that time in trying to find a window.But believe me no matter how many women he has bed he will never ever forget the girl he loved most and who broke his heart.Dont think you can say anything to him in fit of anger and get away with it.He will hold it against you..painfully.Yes,they are famous for holding grudges.

myths and facts continuation
by: Aqua girl

Remedy? Have patient and a lot of it!! If he really means that much to you then be ready to prove it to him that you are on his side no matter what.Show him he will never find you gone even when there is tornado,tsunami,earthquake.He will see through you so be honest it.Being with a scorpio is a lot of work and of course you have to be cautious as he is damn sensitive.He wont like a big mouth,greedy,lazy and disorganized female.If he has shut down be patient and dont force him to talk.Let your actions speak for you.Let him observe you and your silent dedication.Do little things for him and be gentle,suck up to him,write him little notes,compliment him.Please dont be clingy and stand on his head for answers.It will not help.And if you must know then be prepared with a first aid box to nurse your wound because he will be brutally frank about it and it doesnt matter to him if its rude or bruises you.Women with quick temper and less patience please note SCORPIO is not meant for you.If he has hurt you its probably because you have hurt him first.If he isnt talking think what you have said or done to deserve it.Nagging and crying wont help if he doesnt want to be with you.If the man wants to marry you he will say it,if he loves you he will say it,if he wants to f@#k you yes baby he'll say that too.If he isnt its probably because he doesnt want to.Dont be in any delusion.He will delcare his love,propose,show you around,introduce you to family and friends If he is serious otherwise you may get cunningly manipulated into becoming an affair or mistress so learn to take a hint.He gives and he gives a lot when he is in love and he takes it all away painfully when he finds you are not worth it.In that case best thing to do is to move on because you wont be able to handle his cold behavior.Give him space please.It doesnt mean he's out there f@#king someone.My scorpio man is a giver,my soulmate and my best friend.He is evolved scorpio,very sensitive soul and loves me immensely.We are engaged to be married.He comes and tells me that women ask him out and even took me to his office and introduced me to his colleagues who asked him out.He says he is proud of me and i am his better half.Dont be nice first and then become bitchy later.Dont experiment on this guy please.Love him,support him,care for him,put up with his tantrums,be loyal and please dont flirt and watch what you say to him.He will give you everything if he feels he's found the right one.If he's acting aloof and is avoiding questions about relationship then i suggest be the smart one.On a lighter note i think every scorpio man should come with a user manual having instructions to handle him.

It's working for me
by: Gemini808

I am a Gemini, moon in Scorpio lady dating a Scorpio man. So far is working like a charm. Granted its been only 4 months, but he makes me feel wonderful. I love my privacy and I respect his. We have meaningful conversations. I don't pry. I am more interested in what he learned from past relationships that would add to ours than with who and where and when. I made sure he knows it is not that I don't care but his past is really non of my business nor mine his. Still I am very open and honest about mine. It is more interesting for me to plan how am I going to surprise him next time with some crazy sexy thing. I focus on our present and have fun doing it. We make every minute count. We are very intense.
Our intimate moments are beyond pleasurable. I can feel he loves me and he tells me too. I am very secure and in control of my Happy life, yet I love when he takes control, it is intoxicating and I don't mind him leading the way. I know I'll rip the benefits!!! My Scorpio makes me feel sexy, beautiful, protected and secure. His words match his actions so far. I wouldn't hesitate to point out if he doesn't or walk away if needed. Second guessing others actions or intentions it's a waste of time and energy, no matter what sign. I encourage him to go out with his friends and I go out with mine. I think keeping our own interests alive makes us a better person. Relationships should be about adding not draining. We had only one misunderstanding and we handled it pretty good. I was surprised at his openness about not wanting to lose me. I am taking it really slow, So thank you for your input. I'll keep it in mind. Did I mention I love him? Oh yeah I do. So no complaining about Scorpio on my behalf. A keeper so far.

scorpio man
by: silvahalo

Yes, they can be extremely difficult to understand but their smoldering energy and intensity makes it worthwhile. Unlike other men, they truly appreciate intensity, passion, and emotion. Once you get with a Scorpio, you will never want any other sign!

thanks for the heads up
by: Anonymous

Thanks for the heads up!!

I have just started talking online to a scorpio man and already feel attracted to him, i hope i get to see him soon, its hard to be confident when u first meet someone after talking to them online i will do my best.

Scorpio boyfriend on shutdown
by: Anonymous

I have been with my Scorpio boyfriend 1-2 years, the first year was very odd, he wanted me badly, he backed off, came back, backed off this went on for months then he left my house one night and said he's phone me the next day - he didn't - I never chased him, just text him now and then, he had his dark moods (he has his demons as he puts it and I know all about these I might add) but I never saw him for 5 months. Then - last ummer we caught sight of one another, he pulled over to talk but I shot off. He text me, I text back, this went on for 2 months and we agreed to meet. It was wonderful, he grabbed me, kissed me told me how much he loved me and had missed me. Since then all has been great, yes he still has his dark times, shuts himself away for a couple of days here and there, ignoring the phone but this doesn't last long. BUT we went away for a holiday recently taking my kids. He was a bit 'dark' before we went as it was coming up to the anniversary of an upsetting event in his life but the holiday was supposed to help him (and me) through it also we both needed a much deserved break. In short, my kids spoilt it with their arguing and sulking, we ended up going home early. He was fuming, so was I but he was raging. Up til then he had a good relationship with my kids but he seemed to hate them whilst we were away. I was very angry and upset with them too. We were fine ourselves whilst away and he was talking about us going sway on our own in the winter, even looked up flights. Even on the way home we were fine with eachother, laughing, joking as usual, talking about where we will go on holiday next (on our own). Anyway he was still angry with my kids and we had hardly spoken to them (teenagers) but when we got to my house, he got my bags out of the car, kissed me and said, I can't stay in this house tonight, not with these two - call you tomorrow?? that was it!!! 11 days ago. I have rung him, text him and called round and he has ignored everything. I haven't bugged him, just sent 3 texts trying to put things right. - he told me when I see him shutting down, to tell him and keep him grounded - how can I if he shuts me out? He has shut others out too and I can see that he is not functioning as usual by his non-activity on social websites etc. It has never gone on like this before, maybe 3-4 days at most. I really don't know what to think. This man has told me how much he loves me over the last year, he couldn't say it the year before but I know he loves me. We have made plans together and plan on staying together for good. He has told me more than once that he won't be running anywhere again and that all that s**t is behind him, he says he's 'going nowhere'.

I'm thinking that he was in a bad place and the holiday was supposed to help but it made it ten times worse. nearly 2 weeks now?? Should I just leave it be and wait for him?

In Love with a Scorpio Man
by: Anonymous

I'm a Sagittarius woman with a Scorpio man for almost 2 years now, and I assure yall that this article could have been written by my boyfriend himself. She hit everything right on the head about him.

better understanding
by: Anonymous

I'm a Virgo girl dating my scorpio man for several months now. I believe you hit everything right on the nail! We've had some communication problems definitely, since i'm a Virgo and i don't find sex a necessity, there are times when i find his sex drive to be extreme lol. But when we make love its one of the most amazing feelings of connection with someone i've ever felt. I'm so lucky to have my scorpio man and to stumble across this article helps me so much in understanding his ways even more. Thank you!

by: Karla

Well this sounds silly and I know i should be better than that. Well so I met this scorpio, and he is so charming. I had a connection with him, that I think is almost unmeasurable. I am a scorpio/Sagittarius cusp, so i think I swing either ways in terms of temperament. Anyways, it was a one night stand, and he was so caring an affectionate, saids the right thing. I was touch on the inside, but I was hiding it. I was afraid that he is just talking me up, cause we were having sex. I know there was an intense connection, because not knowing anything about him, I had a gut feeling that he was a scorpio while we were in bed. So I asked, and he was. The funny thing is that he said we have sex like we are already a couple. The timing was so right. In the morning he was trying to hold me back to go to work, not explicitly though, so I am not sure. He asked me for my number, I gave it to him, but with a look that I know he's not gonna call..? So I didn't ask for his, and just expecting if he likes me, he would call. Then he offer if I need his sunglasses, then I rejected that as well. And just walk out the door, then he stopped me again looking at me intensely again, so I gave him a smile and a good bye kiss. But did not tell him to call me. I was so scared, a part of me I am denying the connection, I just don't think it was all true. So to self preserve I choose to leave before I am smitten. But it has been almost a week now, he still haven't called. Was I too aloof? Should I do something to show him that I did enjoy every bit of that night? I can be so stalkish as well and all my friends are telling that I am crazy, that I get hung up on a one night stand. Yeah, this barely happens to me, but i experience this only rarely, but at this level just after one night, this is the first. I don't know what to do...if anyone who reads this and have any insights, it would be gladly appreciated... thanks

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Scorpio man.