Is my Aries man lying?

I have dated 2 Aries men (married 1 of them) in the past and is currently on a "sort of relationship" with an Aries man on & off for 2.25 years now. We're in a relationship where there is no commitment - deep in my heart I wish there is, but I have told myself than I'm prepared to give him time for it - say 3 more years. He had a relationship previously before me for 9 years and i feel it has a great impact on how he behaves and thinks in our relationship - he's become a commitment phobe, independent-loving, walls-up man. He's told me several times that he's not ready to settle down and is not thinking of that in the next 5 years or even 10 years - I keep telling him and convincing myself that i'm not looking to settle down myself either (as i also just got divorced - no kids from an aries man), so I'm all there for the highs of sex, great company, fun times etc. It's been 4 or 5 months since we had this talk (esp as I turned 30 recently).

He's the same as others - hot & cold...sometime in September he was cold and trying himself to keep distance, then on my birthday back in October - he was all lovey-dovey, gave me good presents (including a trip to his hometown) and looked after me well on the bday night. I went away for 2 weeks in Mexico and came back still hot with him. After 2 weeks, he then went away to travel to Asia for a month (Borneo, Taipei & Seoul). I'm currently living in his flat (as I temporarily moved out of mine - waiting to complete with the purchase of my own flat) - he offered for me to stay in his flat though.

When he was away on his travels, we had regular communication (either texts or FB) not daily but regular. I can only remember once he's been out of reach to me (5 days - there's more to this later on), when he was in Taipei.

Since he got back from his travels, knowing that we haven't seen each other for a month - he came back with a very very cold heart!!!! I don't know what happened. He refuses to make love to me or even cuddle me, doesn't give me hello/goodbye kisses (had 3 smacks since) - nada. Then today I found some receipts for 2 5* hotels in Taipei which he paid £220 for one night and the
other £160 for the next night. On one of them it did say 2 people. This were all dated on the time when we lost touch for a bit. But problem is he told me that he's been staying at hostels all throughout his travel!!! Another thing i found was a note from the Taipei hostel asking him whether he wants to continue with his room or check out! So he's obviously disappeared from them too - and he was at those 5* hotels!

I love the guy so much, that I know he's obviously not into me at the moment (as he's always hot & cold), but I don't really know how to handle him anymore. The fact that I live with him makes it even more difficult (& I have a cat). I don't even know what to make out of those 2 hotel receipts and hostel note. 1st instinct told me he's cheated. But i don't know. It's possible though.

I love him that I keep denying that he's treated me badly (as my sister and friends have pointed out)...and keep justifying his actions. I'm willing to forgive him for whatever he's done in Taipei. But I don't know him being cold has got something to do with the 2 nights hotel expedition with a anonymous person. I love him dearly and i've never met someone like this (despite having dated a few aries men before) - he's just totally different - and i think he's the one. That's why i'm prepared to make sacrifices.

He's currently with his family (parents, sisters etc) celebrating Xmas and i'm here on my own typing this looooonge experience/pathetic story. I asked him what he wants to do for NYE but he told me he doesn't know yet. I asked him to spend
it with me, he didn't say anything.

I got him presents for Xmas and he got me some too - I asked him last night if he wants to open them - he said - next time when we both come back from xmas hols (i'm off to see my relatives too - but that's partially because he wanted me to). I gave him his xmas card instead, he said the same thing open it when we both come back from hols.

I've been struggling with making a decision. I wanted him to know I'm hurt by all of his actions & wants him to realise whatever he needs to realise - so I was thinking of staying at a friends flat from when I come back from my hols instead of going straight to his flat. I'm taking my suitcases with me but I will have to leave my cat and a few more things (which I will ask my cleaner to put all away/remove from all drawers etc). I'm not trying to manipulate the situation - i'm deeply hurt by his behavior in the last 5 days and the hotel receipts made it worse. All I really want is maybe to rekindle or respark something in his heart and he'll start missing and wanting me again...Is this possible aries man??? Or have i reached the end of the tunnel with no light in it???

Please help me - I'm very confused.

Thanks a lot.

Comments for Is my Aries man lying?

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my suggestion
by: Anonymous

Has he explicitly said he stayed every night in hostels? or has he just touched on the subject? If he's directly lied about that then i'd say he was cheating on you. But, if the subject has just never come up, and he admits it (maybe he got sick of hostels or something.. could be innocent) then he probably isn't.

My suggestion would be not to directly ask him if he's cheating or whatever, but try to get the subject onto his vacation at some point, and then innocently ask what it was like where he stayed "did the hostel have hot water?" or something indirect like that. If he directly lies to you... then I think you have your answer.

Hes not being straight with you.
by: Libralass

Hes not being straight with you girlfriend. Something has been going on and he's not going to tell you what. And the fact that he seems so emotionally unavailable to you adds only further emphasis to that. Being with an aries man...i can say that i know this. Mine did similar to me. What to do? You must find your strengh and withdraw from the's your turn to become emotionally unavailable. You have your own life and cannot be his doormat...and he will never respect you if you are. I dont think he values you as he should. So change courses and come up with a fresh new plan to either win him back or get on with your life. You're a have what it takes to do this! You will win this one way or another with your brilliant strategies. :)*

re: is my aries man lying
by: Anonymous

Aries men are the worst men on this earth. He is practically cheating on you but wait a minut, do you expect him to just stick to you alone, no baby, is in thier blood to cheat. They lie and drink like a fish. Am speaking from experience. They can have 19 children from 18 different women and deny the other one. THEY ARE SIMPLY NIGHT-MARES.

Too easy, too boring for an aries
by: Anonymous

You are not presenting enough of a challenge. Aries likes adventure and chasing down his prey. If you are making it easy on him, he gets bored. If he's still living with you, there is a good chance that there is chemistry and deep down he cares about you. If he didn't, he'd already be gone. But he's questioning whether he's gotten himself tied down to a doormat, which he could not abide. Be a little more mysterious and hard to get. Don't let him off the hook so easily when he acts up. Just don't move so far away that he loses interest there too. It's a tough balancing act. Chances are if you keep him guessing a little more about how you feel, he'll come around. When he declares that he couldn't live without you, it's safe to drop the games and he should be pretty loyal. Good luck!

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