Sensitive Pisces Woman married to Independent Saggitarius

by Katrina
(New York, NY)

I dated my husband for 6 years and we just got married. I relate to all the comments, except those that say it cannot work.

It has been the best experience at times. He is the best friend one can have if you are logical and pleasant with him overall. Sex is off the charts, even after 6 years! He is very affectionate when I act first. He hates freedom limited, and may take a little while to commit (6 years to get married - I was ready at year 4!) but he is faithful, honest and honorable.

That said, it has been a crazy roller coaster with us. I had a rough childhood and am very sensitive overall. He is a good man, but super independent. I find that the biggest problem we have may be that which many women experience. A true Pisces, I love romance and when a man shows me his feelings with romantic words and affection. He is a super masculine guy (a Marine at that!), and seems to express his love in small ways that don't really seem romantic, but practical. This is difficult if I am going through an emotional time and need him. Sometimes I wish he would reach out to me in these times without me having to tell him, but he can be really dense. When I tell him, he is really giving and loving, but I wish he could intuitively understand sometimes. As a Pisces, I intuitively understand when he needs me, and give.

My biggest complaint is that as a true Pisces, I am very giving and caring, but I feel that he does not give and show his feelings and care even 3/4 as much as I do. When I am more independent and self-sufficient, he seems more relaxed to give, but sometimes I really need him. I am trying to be more independent, but get mad sometimes because shouldn't I be able to lean on my husband emotionally?

I love him to pieces and he loves me a lot even though I am a lot to handle. I have picked a lot of arguments with him over the years about his lack of showing emotions, but the arguments or even telling him in complaint make it worse! I find the best way to have him show you more is to ask him to do things or show you more by saying it very logically and non-judgmentally. He completely shuts down when I am judgmental or say mean words. Sags are blunt, so they take words literally when you say them, and as Pisces who speak in circles and metaphors, we need to be very mindful of our words.

Pisces love romance and want to be with their partner all the time, at least I do. However, with a Sagittarius, it is very important to have a life outside of the relationship. Pisces are tempted to make a man and love their world, but if you do this with Sag, it will be a letdown because he likes to have a full life. You cannot lean on him all the time because he may not always be there because he is so independent and very busy (they sure are active men!). I am still working on it as I still want to spend most of my time with him because I am so in love. It might make you feel that he is not as in love because he shows less than you, but he is just very busy. When he seems distant, talk to a very understanding friend (don't talk to a frenemy who is unhappy with her life as they will try to make u miserable also - made that mistake many times), or go out and do something to take your mind off of it. Don't ruminate and immerse yourself in feeling by listening to sad songs or writing diaries about how sad you are. It will make you feel worse! Pisces can be deep and dark, but Sag is light and upbeat so he may not always seem to understand. This is a fact you will have to accept, and try to resist the urge to be too needy, and be distant by being more independent (and not by being malicious - he hates bitchy women) when you feel he is not giving more.

It is a lot of work, but so worth it. I have never loved someone as I love him, and he has been good to me overall.