Virgo man torturing me mentally

by helplessunion
(NY)

He's a Virgo man and I'm an Aries. He is mysterious, Aries wants to know it all. He disappears when I pursue, and insists on coming back when I drift off. He controls my emotion, and I want to get out of it and be atop... his controlling nature vs. aries' winner attitude. He makes an Aries feels totally insecure, but deadly attractive because Aries needs to be challenged. He reads me like a book and never hesitates to drop subtitle criticism for unapproved behaviors, I react and he backs off.

I like his wisdom and advice - sharp, clear and curt. I feel imperfect in his eyes, as aries has strong ego and can't be second to anything nor anyone.

This relationship is torturing me mentally... sex is great but I can't help feeling that he is incapable of love

Comments for Virgo man torturing me mentally

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Virgo uncommunicative
by: Anonymous

I've been in a relationship with a Virgo man for a year and a half, I'm also a Virgo. Your last sentence is my feelings exactly, this relationship is torturing me mentally and I wonder if he is even capable of love. He is so passive but he subtly and sometimes not so subtly lets me know that I am not that important to him, and critical of me in weird areas that wouldn't matter to other people. Yet he'll turn around and say I took it wrong and then make me feel I am important. He even told me in these exact words that he would have a ring on my finger but that he thinks i would lower the quality of his life. Then he told me I am too sensitive when it hurt me.
But the sex is unbelievable and I can't let go.

Virgo man torturing me mentally
by: Anonymous

I can relate! I'm an aries women dating a Virgo man and he can be so critical at times. Yet When I have the courage to leave him, he shows how sweet he really can be. I just dont get virgos yet I love them!

ego of aries
by: Anonymous

Totally agree that aries have strong ego and need to come out first. However, before a virgo, I just feel so insecure and weak. I know he is imperfect, yet his unspoken high standard makes me overly conscious of myself.

I understand
by: Anonymous

I completely understand... My ex was a Virgo and I'm a Gemini. He made me feel like crap, anything I did was never good enough! He was very jealous, and saw me just talking to another man as me flirting. He seemed so distant all the time... but when I broke up with him, he came around.
I think with Virgo men they are hard to pin down, and can be very critical, especially if they are not whole heartedly into you. Once my ex saw he was being to hard on me, and saw that he could lose me for forever, he changed. Now that he is whole heartedly into me and wants a relationship with me, he is the ideal partner. He is loyal and very loving, and would do anything for me!
I hope things work out for you two. And maybe once he figures out what he has, which may be you leaving him, he will worship the ground you walk on, and still give you that clever communication you desire!

Virgo man and Aries woman
by: Anonymous

Aries woman, Virgo man here. Never doubt yourself and don't think you are being judged in any way by your Virgo man. He is very accepting of you, even when he's being critical. Sometimes I think Virgos are critical because we want to make everyone around us better, even when we aren't perfect ourselves. I was involved with an Aries woman and she abruptly broke off our relationship one day and didn't contact me for 6 months. I visited her grandfathers house where she lived, but she was never there. Finally, I stopped leaving messages and stopped looking for her. Then, one day, out of the blue she appeared at my job looking for me. We talked and she explained that she left because she didn't think she could live up to me. I didn't understand what she meant, because during our relationship we never argued and I never critisized. Then I realized that I had said something that probably hurt her pride. I had asked her what she wanted to do with her life because she wasn't working at the time. She immediately went out and found a job after that, but that's when she broke it off. I think my asking her about getting a job offended her in some way, but she never told me. She had felt that I had expectations of her that she couldn't fulfill, but she came back to let me know that now she was ready for the kind of relationship that she thought I wanted. I was living with someone by then, but I felt really sad because I loved her and would have married her if she had not left so suddenly without explanation. I still think about her and would love to know how she's doing

virgo man and aries woman
by: Anonymous

First off let me say aries woman are very strong and independent but your ways are not cool. Ya'll say and do things that are very hurtful and think that when the arguing is over its all peaches and cream. I'm in a relationship right now with an aries woman and I love her to death but its hard to get over things when new ones come about. She did things that another man would have just left but I believe in forgivness but on some real you arie woman need to know that being self-centered with a virgo is not going to get u nowhere.

An Aries woman who loves a Virgo man
by: Anonymous

I am in love with a virgo man and many of the things you brought up was as if you were looking in on my relationship with him. He is very reserved and caring, extra considerate when I am with him. However, he also builds walls and puts up barriers that I can't seem to penetrate and whenever I have tried to do so, he disappears...but he always comes back...I stopped trying to get through to him and since I have been hurt so much in dealing with him, I too have built walls and barriers. He recently told me that he feels hurt and disrespected. As an aries, we have horrible habits which can be detrimental to relationships and friendships. Such as lack of tact, being inconsiderate of others' feelings,impatient, and playing inspector gadget often times to only end up coming to the wrong conclusions...but with all that said, I have never loved a man as much as I love him...I credit him for making me a better person...and the last thing I would ever want is to make him feel as if he doesn't matter to me...I say all that to say this, don't just recognize his faults, realize yours as well...and if you love him enough and feel its worth it, make the necessary changes to make it work...but most of all you need to be patient with him and not assume the worst...hope all works out for you 8-)

Weird! This From An Aries Woman!
by: MGF

This particular VIRGO,I had been talking to,VIA phone only,has now told me we can only be friends,...WH? because he says I am too possessive. OOkay,...wouldn't you have to had some contact other than phone in order to deem someone POSSESSIVE? I would call every blue moon,or when he asks.One day we can have great conversation,and on other days,upon HIS requests that I do the calling,he is SUDDENLY acting an ass. Alright,being ARIES,we EXPECT that which we were told to happen, He had promise many things,and never came through. I DID NOT ASK for anything. He gave me HIS number,and HE told ME ALL those wonderful things HE would DO! And not once did I make a promise or promises of such MAGNITUDE. He was the one who said HE always wanted to talk to me since HIGH SCHOOL,okay again. Now just recently I asked HIM some questions,BEcause I don't understand his actions. He tells me to call then when I do,he is not around,or He HAS to go to the gym,OR,it's his kids,(19 & 16) years old who needs him dreadfully,or he will tell me to call him at late night when he knows he is in bed and has to be up for five in the morning,SO PLEASE TELL Me how that makes me POSSESSIVE when I don't get any time to even talk to this idiot?He asked me for pictures I sent them. He then says oh he never menat to asks for them. He sends me picture then feels embarrased after he did so. Is this a fetish?He says I wouldn't be able his lifestyle because I am too Possessive. Okay,..An aries when in control of her life,as I am,don't give a damn sbout where a man goes,or why. Whatever he does for a living is his beeswax. But don't get me interested then act an asshole afterwards. That could be very dangerous!He says I am too negative,because I question him,well,guess what that's how I learn. How the hell do you get to know someone? If virgos are that private why don't they live in caves and call it a day?For me,an Aries to be friends with someone after a strong intimate connection,is not possible.Talk to me someone,soon

So difficult
by: Anonymous

Only the people closest to me understand the complexity of whatever it is we have going on. I’ve literally said I’m done…I get the hint 2X in the past two years and he keeps coming back. He knows how to turn on the charm and when to do it. I will describe what we have as some sort of “connection”. I’ve never experienced this craziness with anyone else. With other men it’s been a matter of…you dig me or you don’t! lol! I’m just afraid of wasting too much time on this guy. I’m perfectly fine with moving on if it’s not going anywhere. I can’t take it anymore.  I hear people say, “If a man wants to be with you, he’s going to be with you.” That makes me feel like my Virgo doesn’t want to be with me and he’s just stringing me along. Here’s the thing…they don’t know him they way I know him. He’s never ever disrespected me or anything like that. He’s an “acts of kindness” type of man. Verbally he won’t communicate that he cares but he shows me by doing things for me. In the beginning he told me that it’s hard for him to show affection. Sometimes I fell like that song by Paula Abdul…I take two steps forward..You take two steps back. Lol! Jesus, help me. 

I heard that Virgo’s like to be pursued. My Virgo once told me that I’m consistent ….in a joking manner. He is very observant and he has MAJOR trust issues from the ONLY long relationship her ever had.

Leo Woman Virgo Man
by: Anonymous

YES!!! I agree will all of you! The disappearing the "act of kindness" to show love. My Virgo man does contact me on a daily which is a good thing. But to get him to show any emotion is torture! I hear the lil critisizms but hey even our friends do that or voice their opinions. Why so private the lil info I got he says is the most he has given anyone. I don't get how the one before me dealt with this. I love him and knows he loves me (of course he never said the words - breakthrough was when I saked him and he actually said the word YES! in lieu of rasing his eyebrows...lol) ANYWAYS...we have been together 18 months I have not met any of his family only a few friends. I am willing to hold on but it's getting harder and harder. I have been going through major changes at work and I need him to talk to or just to hear his voice giving me words of encouragment...he is not there for me. We had a talk about this matter the other day and he understood where I was coming from however I now feel distance between us.

Virgo woman w. Virgo man
by: Virgo/Virgo couple

We can be this way despite the gender because I am like this. Tell him to straighten his act up or get lost. We have a different way of displaying affection and sometimes think others really don't deserve our heart so we treat them bad. You think he's being difficult now, wait until after the wedding bells are over and you get pregnant! He is gonna turn into Dr jerk & hyde and leave you with a family to support and all the accounts will be handled by him *of course*. He better be lucky I'm a handicap wife because I've would of been looong gone by now! He has too many privliges for a husband and still he doesnt understand I'm helping him out! My kids wont be young forever and when they come of age I'm getting away from him! Butvtry to have pity for him as he does of himself, maybe then he'll see where your coming from, but I doubt it. We can be hard headed and scatter brained, forgive us.

Virgo man aries woman
by: Anonymous

I am the virgo you need to understand if we don't show affection it's because we feel you are not trying hard enough lol just tell us to show you how passionate we can be inspire us that's the word and what I like about my aries is her passionate side /seducing I'm the outgoing one who buys things which she finds cute if we are jerks it's because you did something we appreciate every thing you do for us and if you get the heart of a virgo you will have stability love and passion communication is key if you have a problem tell him ohhh and if you start to not take care of yourself like dress nice we will dump your ass we will feel superior and if we criticize you tell us to stop not hard ohh and if we don't ask you out it because we feel we can do better or you fucked up but if your not patient ask him out and see what challenge awaits and plzz don't pitty yourself when we are charming too you it's very hard to pin us down even though you think you already did hope this helps aries I love aries they just need to understand us been with her 10 years married enjoying the good life she understands and has done her research lol

How to get a virgo
by: Anonymous

First you have to be smart and cute when a virgo backs away from you when you touch him it's because he put barriers so his heart dosent get broken. This is how you tell he might like you it's complicated keep being touchy and passionate tho we like it eventually we have to give up to your charms if he does little things like spoils you in someway he probably likes you its really hard for a virgo to show affection but when we try to show you we probably like you but the best way to be forsure is to ask him and be direct and tell him that you like him and you might not get an answer right away but maybe in a week when he thinks about It if he does give you an answer its because he was already waiting for you to say something and he thought thing through already . if he hasn't asked you out its because he is probably shy so don't think he dosent like you. When a virgo is in love he will provide loyalty trust and a long lasting relationship . If you give him that sexy stare and he does it back and looks away its because he can't stop staring at those beautiful eyes you have or he will melt lol or you might be ugly or have something on your face Jk you know what kind of look aries like to do . If you don't call a virgo to show you are interested or act like you are busy all the time and try to be boss him around too much he will forget about you we virgos have alot of pride so once we see you are not worth it we won't look back if we criticize you it's because we are trying to make you a better person dont get upset when we are trying to help we like helping out dont compete with us if we are smarter than you we are smarter than you we know it well let you be smart ;) this may only applly to smart virgo and smart aries I am a virgo and the aries i know is smart like me this is what I would tell to this aries girl so she can see my point of view of an aries women. hope I helped :)

Virgo testing
by: Anonymous

Don't hold your breath for that ring. Harsh as it may sound this is your virgos way of testing your self respect. He knows he doesn't have to commit all the way an you'll still stay. I would have told him I needed some time apart to think so he can be insecure.

Virgo man Scorpio woman
by: Anonymous

I agree with all of your comments and am sympathetic to what you go through as I feel the same. I've been with mine for 6 mths. Things started to getting strange a month ago. He has said he is comfortable with me and wished we were further along but his work schedule has greatly affected our ability to see each other. He has confirmed his wanting a relationship with me and being exclusive to me. I truly care about him and would be patient given the next year will be challenging with all that he has on his plate, but only if I knew he truly wants to be with me. I give myself space and he always reaches out if he doesn't hear from me, as much as up to a week where i have not texted him. An empath had told me it takes a long time and he wants a relationship with me but he is afraid that due to his crazy schedule, i will walk away. However, he will not say anything towards that. He says it is important that I tell him about my daily life even though he can't always be around. This is so painful. I care enough that I am willing to stay to make it work, but it's hard when most, not all of our communication is via text. Any words of advice? He doesn't seem to respond as often to my flirtatious texts that much anymore, suppose that's the practical Virgo coming through after the "honeymoon" phase.

Please Help
by: Anonymous

I'm an aries woman. I met a virgo man online. Like me, He has a great job, a nice house, is responsible- the perfect man, the man Iv'e been hoping to find all my life. So here is my problem. He treats his friends better than me, example: He asked me to do a favor for him while he went over his friends house (because his friend was "lonley")Then, later he texts me on how I should have came with him because he had so much fun. I text to him that "I wasn't invited", he responded with " I should have insisted you come" How can he insist when he never asked me to go with him in the first place??? I didn't respond. Then he text " I really thought you didn't want to come and didn't want to push" Again, I didn't respond. Also, he is not affectionate and doesn't ever want to have sex.But he seems to like me and calls me up for dates??? This is one small example of what he does; pushes forward then pulls back. As an Aries, I know I lack patients, but I'm trying very hard to be understanding, however, I don't want to settle and be someones door mat. Please, I need advice. Thank you

virgo man so weird
by: saggi

I have been talking to a virgo man for 2 weeks and he has been through a divorce earlier ... because of which he is very fearful. At times when he opens up he's rrally nice but that's very few times. He acts quite strange off and on and has issues initiating conversations. Especially when I begin to show interest. He goes cold and in different. We were talking on the phone 5 hours ago and he said he suddenly has to go speak to family and he never came.back I kept waiting the entire night. I am really confused .. what have I done. He kind of shows ge likes me but never expresses it openly. And we were having a nice warm chat when he abruptly disappeared I left him texts but no reply. I cried and felt insulted and feel I insulted myself by contacting him so.much but he didn't come back he ll.prolly show up tomorrow and act like nothing happened. I am . saggi and acting too nice and affectionate but he's acting weird I really want this to work but I need HELP!!!! HOW DO I DEAL.WITH HIM

Virgo man is confusing
by: Libra love

Met when we were young but nothing happened, reconnected on a dating site. Went out a few times and really seemed to connect. Finally gave in and was intimate with him. Then he disappears, only contacting me about getting my car fixed by his friend because I really need work done. Finally told me after a week that he wasnt sure about me. I said it sucked because I liked him but was ok. Never expected to hear from him. He then texts me again about the car. Mind you I have the mechanic's info already. I told him that it hurts when we talk because we were intimate and it didnt seem to mean as much to him. He flew off the handle and called me to yell at me. The entire convo was about why he didnt think we should continue, he didnt feel the need to only focus on me like I had told him I was going to do(only meaning I dont sleep around) He said he didnt know what he should feel but that he didnt feel what he had thought he should so he ended it. I told him, when I tols him no, he wanted me but when he thought he had me, he was over it. like a kid in a room full of toys who wants the one he cant have. He didnt think he was like that. so for 2.5 hours this went on until 2am! I finally sent him a text this morning saying that although I connot see myself wanting a relationship with him not, the want for what I cant have is too great and I had to say good bye to him. Do you think he will contact me again? A small part of me just wished he would get out of his own way because it was a nice interaction but I just dont know what it all meant. He was so mad when I told him us being intimate seemd to mean more to me. just cnfused.

Taurus Lady/Virgo Man
by: Anonymous

I've been reading all of the comments and I seriously thought the problem was me, but I am now seeing that it is NOT me! I really do have feelings for this virgo man, but he is impossible! I feel tensed around him because he makes me feel as if everything I do is wrong. For, instance I will occasionally use a curse word and he will say I curse too much and then he will turn around and curse at the tv while he is watching sports and I am like WTF??? He says that he isn't serious about anything he says and he doesn't care about anything. I also just feel his standards are way too high for me, I cannot fulfill his expectations and I feel like I have to wear the pants in the relationship, when I just want to be the woman. He is so cold and detached. He never openly shares his emotions. We do have sex and honestly it is the best sex I have ever had! I just feel he wants somebody who is perfect and I cannot live up to that kind of expectation because it is too stressful. I don't find any joy in stressing every teeny tiny detail that I simply cannot change all of it. He contradicts himself all of the time too. He will make comments here and there and say I am too into my looks, but he will only date pretty woman and on top of that he went and got liposuction on his chest and he never even told me about it until he was practically dying of pain in his room! And all of this shit and I can't let him go??? I have been hooked on this guy for 2 years. I have to put in all of the effort. It is so mentally and emotionally draining because I have no clue to what he wants. He's not very sexual but when we are sexual its great! He can be very negative. I feel he controls my emotions. I feel he is just controlling in general. I do however trust him.... I just don't understand why I can't let him go and I keep hearing all of these stories over and over again with virgo men and I know its just not me.

I am also an Aries female
by: Anonymous

i was going to write some long drawn out thesis on the experience that I had but it's giving to much credit to a guy that's just at his core an asshole. This individual is a mental and emotional terrorist with zero to contribute. His disregard and lack of respect are the common denominator. To an Aries female you best stay clear. The only way to reclaim your power is to ignore his texts and or calls. Your silence is your only defense because you know as well as I know if you tell him a thing or two his reply will be "ok" and then you are burning mad all over again. Silence is a language too. Aries, we are too loving, caring and passionate for these parasites to suck the life out of us. May your road to recovery be speedy and never look back. Understand the closure is that there is no closure. He leaves his victims for dead, open wounds and all.

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