What I've Learned So Far

by Hope

Hi all, Sorry, but July was a busy month for me. All is well in my small world with Aqua. I realized back in June that I was doing all the initiating of contact and he was simply responding. Sometimes he responded a lot, and sometimes just one or two lines. Sometimes I got no response at all for several days.

In July I got really busy and did not have time for our routine video chats. He began contacting me, sometimes several times per day. We wound up having a healthy discussion about our time and expectations regarding communication. It got dicey for a while, but I am glad that we both cared enough to see the conversation through, despite hurt feelings on both sides.

The best part is, even though his communication style still runs hot and cold, I love that we can talk about anything because we developed a new level of trust that night.

Even though he still has a quirky (hot and cold) style of communication, there is no doubt in my mind about how he feels about me. We were able to talk directly about that – although I sense it is not a good idea to bring his honestly and openness up again for a while. I think I understand him a lot more after all that.

He will be here next week, and I am feeling much more comfortable about that. I have lots of fun things planned.
It is hard to advice others about what they should do, as I do understand the roller coaster emotion, need for communication about the status of the relationship, and the confusion and frustration when the simply stop communicating for extended periods. I do believe that behavior needs to be confronted—gently at first, but it is important to speak up. I think the reason we do not is that we don’t think we have that right in new relationships.

We cannot expect consistent contact-as I now understand my aqua spends his free time. He sucks up knowledge like a sponge (via radio, newspapers, and online sites), is part so many civic groups, and writes a newspaper column.

I didn’t know that until July. His quest for knowledge and desire to make the world better are a huge part I what I find so fascinating and admirable. Of course, none of us wants to change those qualities in our Aquas; however, they need to tell us what we can expect in the way of consistent contact so we don’t get frustrated and give up.

August 8, 2010

Comments for What I've Learned So Far

Click here to add your own comments

by: Dazed

Since you seem to have exp with Aquas...here's a story I posted in another forum & could use some help...

So I'm dating an aquarius and we've known each other for a while before actually finding the time for each other. However, I've noticed that before we actually started "talking," he was always available and always was in contact with me. Now that we've gotten closer I see he has pulled the distancing act. We're going on over 2 weeks without seeing each other, and last Sat (8.4.10), we had plans but he said he wasn't sure if he could make it because he was still wrapped up in what he was already doing (coaching). I thought he was bs'ing me (due to not seeing or hearing from him in 2 weeks), so I told him directly that if he's not interested, he's not interested and there's no point in wasting time, but that I still adored him as a friend, so no hard feelings. So he told me that it wasn't that, but he has committments rights now. I'm confused because I don't know if he's being genuine or if he's just trying to not hurt my feelings (as I heard they don't like to do). He barely contacts me or makes an effort to see me. Usually these are definite red flags for a guy who's not into you. I understand one's need for freedom, as I have sag rising and a whole lot of it in my chart...but I'm just losing patience at this point. I'm wondering how long I should give him before throwing in the towel. Any advice?

Re: Dazed
by: Hope

Hi Dazed and welcome.

Yes, I do have some advice. When you get time, read through the threads on this board and the Aqua man forum.

You will find lots of camaraderie and confirmation that you are not crazy. Just as we are all different people, regardless of sun sign, I won't lump all Aqua men into the same mold. However, this is an astrology board, and with that said, yes, what you are describing seems to be a common Aquarius male theme.

We have collectively reached out to other Aqua men who have graciously shared their thoughts and opinions on many of our individual and collective situations. Although the reasons vary, it seems Aqua men can maintain contact and the easy flow until either they sense you are moving too fast, or they begin to fall and want to slow the pace.

If you find that you are serious about him, unfortunately, you are going to have to slow it waaaay down and move at their pace. They are the universal masters of relationship pace-setting, and no one seems to be able to take that title from them. He'll get close again, and then pull away.

I really do not believe it is malicious, but more of a "protect you, protect himself" maneuver until he is clear about how you will fit into his life.

If it is any consolation, if he didn't see any best friend/relationship potential in you, he would still be comfortable with seeking you out and making easy conversation.

Again welcome. Check in with Scorp42, Life is Good, and AquaGirl, all of whom share our pain!

by: Dazed

Hey Hope...

Thanks for your encouraging words and reply. I actually have read all of the forums and posts on this site regarding scorpio and aquarius, which is helping a lot with my current guy, and it's also why I decided to post on here. When I first noticed or sensed that he was distancing himself, I let him be & would text him once a week just to say hi...didn't want to demand anything from him. I guess it's just hard for me to fathom how someone can like someone, but not bother to at least try and see that person within a 3 week span (almost). I know Aquarius males like to pull away...but considering how long this act is going, is what triggered me to think he just wasn't interested anymore, and that's why I brought it to his attention. It's just very frustrating because I absolutely hate feeling like I'm being strung along or bs'ed. I don't mind giving him time to sort his thoughts or get it together...but I don't like being kept in the dark!

so incredibly similiar
by: Anonymous

Wow! I'm not really sure if this is an astrology-effect or just how men and women differ. However, I had the same conversation with my Mr. Aquarius this week. We had been communicating almost 3 times a week, and then all of a sudden he fell away. I asked him about it, and he gave me a really good reason (though I've noticed that he often likes to give other reasonable excuses to get out of situations with others.) While I am very fond of him, I believe that we Scorpios should find us more astrologically compatible men who can appreciate our possessiveness and emotions. I feel so horrible to have had our last conversation, because it made him feel bad and he told me he wasn't even aware of what he did. He just got busy and his silence was incredibly hurtful to me and I had to tell him. Needless to say, it's obvious to me that our dialog scared him even more; actions speak louder than words.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Aquarius man Scorpio woman.